Speaking From the Diaphragm
The Vaginal Davis Blog
. . .From the Counsel of Inter-Continental Balistic Principalities
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
THE FIRMAMENTS LOSS
Sad news to report in the passing of Berlin based internationally adored star Gunther Trube, a giant in the deaf activist community, and drag poet muse to Karl Lagerfeld. This legend will be greatly missed. I only met her a few times but she certainly stood out with her warmth, grace and open spirit.
.: posted by Vaginal Davis 1:52 AM
Monday, July 21, 2008
ICH HASSE MODE
Went to UDK graduate presentations, the art school that my NYU intern Marc Arthur has been attending as an exchange student. What an event with lots of activity buzzing the Kleistpark satellite campus. Wasnt able to find where Marc´s performance and film was going to be shown at first, and accidentally discovered Guillame´s lovely film in a basement alcove. Guillame is the cute french projectionist who works at the Arsenal´s Kino 2, and has been a big part of Rising Stars, Falling Stars lately. He goes to the school and is a scruffy Gallic charmer. Also was surprised to see Uli of Forum Expanded. Uli is the ultimate piece of eye candy and is one of my favorite people in Berlin. Wasnt surprised to see Isabel Spengler, as she teaches at UDK. Marc´s presentation featured a Lisa Suckdog look-a-like doing a combative performance that seemed pure Lisa in her early 90s heyday. It was wonderful also to see Marc´s completed film “Letters From a Ruined Dream” where i play a cameo as Morpheus in Ovid´s Metamorphosis, opposite the new art wunderkind DeRohan Chabot who is dreamy in the piece. The boy cant be photographed badly, he looks simply ravishing from any angle. Also chit chatted with Marc´s pretty cinematographer Kim. Had to leave the opening, which was getting quite packed to meet with Travis Jeppeson and Mario at the club Search & Destroy. They had a new toy, i mean friend with them, that they met in Roma named Boris, and i also got to meet Mario´s 15 year old lover from Spain Octavio. Mario had popped the poor kids cherry a few weeks back, at some club, and now that the boy doesnt have a hymen anymore he is ripe and ready to travel that road of Berlin´s newest passed- around-Patty. I have been to Search & Destroy once before or maybe i was at London Calling--- oh it doesnt matter none of these clubs are that interesting, just filled with a bunch of weenagers happy to be anywhere, but there were lots of tourists from all over the world, so it was a little more lively then usual, and i wound up getting into a million conversations. One beautiful humpy dork of a Bavarian boy, who is an aspiring comic named Florian Spieler really caught my eye. He´s a bit on the short side, but has an outgoing personality, and winning smile that held my attention in a big fat tittied way. He has already done the comedy circuit in the states from Hollywood to Colorado, and i could see him really going places. One of his jokes went something like this: i knew Barack Obama when he was still called Cassius Clay. Speaking of Mr. Obama he will be in Berlin this coming week on his way back from the middle east. I wonder if he will sing some of his greatest hits from the early and mid 90s.
Also at the club was Baby Brian, the former concubine of directors Bryan Singer and Gus Van Sant. He was being his regular disorderly self, and had me laughing out loud telling me of his sexual exploits as a high priced juvenile callboy. This is one major hoot of a teenage prostitute, and has shared the bouncing bed with more politicos and entertainment moguls then any hooker this side of Mary Magdelene. In fact he is the new milineums Magdelene. On my way out of the club at 3am i ran into Tim Blue´s lover, David the famed Jamaican concert pianist. David told me that he is moving to Prague. He´s lived in Berlin for more then 20 years, so i have to give him credit for picking up and making roots in some other enchanted garden. David and i are the same age, and it takes a lot for us old gals to purge and start over again somewhere else. I still cant believe i left LA and moved to Europa. It all seems like a dream that i cant somehow wake up from.
I really hate drunks. Walking home some fugly man with bad teeth approached me looking for a hot top to penetrate his sphincter. If he wasnt so drunk he would have noticed that i don´t exactly give off a hot top vibe, but his desperality got the better of him. I left him high wide and fugger, shaking his head and wondering what bunch of beads had hit him over his natty head.
Was invited to the Vivienne Westwood Anglomania show as part of Berlin´s Fashion Week. Poor Berlin still has long way to go in the fashion department. What makes Berlin great is that it is a city that is very much seperate from the rest of the world on many fronts. With Fashion Week that uniqueness is encumbered by a sense of trying too hard, and what a shame. Just relax Berlina and be yourself, salty warts and all, you are not Paris, Milan or New York and never will be which is a good thing. But what really got my goad is that people were bringing their children, including new bornes to the fashion show. Get a friggen baby sitter! Sitting above me was Tan Bihn Nguyen, the divine makeup artiste and my Cheap Blacky scene stealing co-star with his bearded and bubbly friend who works with the New York based designer Kai Kühne. I also ran into Gabriel Von Loebel, the minister of information with the Viennese art kollective Gelitin, who was with his very attractive lady friend Sasha. Most of the crowd was dull.
People in Berlin either dress ultra conservative in a boring way or wild in an icky Love Parade fashion. The same goes way with sex, they either only want to fist you or cuddle and nothing in between. I was seated in the first row next to Kim Cattrall, who is now an a-list star due to the phenomenal success of that awful Sex and the City feature film. Kim and i go way back to 1995 when i co-starred with her in the movie Live Nude Girls, one of my few mainstream films. The movie wasnt that good, but the character Kim played forshadowed her role as Samantha in Sex in the City. Canuckian Ms. Cattrall is a good time Sally of the first magnitude, I am happy that she is getting lots of attention after years of being a Hollywood workhorse. Remember she started her career as a sexy ingenue in the original Porky´s. Ms Cattrall surprised me that she could speak fluent German, which was delighting the massive whordes of photographers surrounding us, and Ms. Westwood who sat on the other side of Kim. Before the photog anslaught Ms. Westwood asked me about my cousin Carla of the pioneering LA punk band The Controllers. Carla Duplantier lived in London and was in the band Jimmy The Hoover, she also modeled for Vivienne Westwood. Across the runway from us sat a smug looking Rupert Everett handsome despite the sour expression on his face. Maybe that look was directed at me because he had read what i wrote about him in Butt Magazine. The best thing about a Vivienne Westwood show is Vivienne Westwood, who is the best model of her own designs. She looked divine, much better then the clunky horsefaced mannequins who trotted down the gangplank. Someone needs to teach these girls how to walk in high heels. Even the one boy in the show, a John Wayne is big leggy blondine looked like he wanted to be somewhere else.
.: posted by Vaginal Davis 4:02 AM
Thursday, July 17, 2008
ZANZIBAR HELLMOUND
Had a delightful visit at the Cheese Endique Trifecta with Cyril that smoking hot young ItemIdem French boy, who lives in Tokyo and designed the award winning Japanese store for the German designer Bernard Wilhelm. Joining us was teutonic artist Christian Siekmeier, who is back in Berlina after living in New York for 11 years. Herr Siekmieir will be bringing the divine Billy Miller of STH/The Manhattan Review of Unnatural Acts to Berlin in October for a residency, and the entire city is a flutter with that information as Mr. Miller is beloved internationally.
After getting my ass kicked once again in German language class i got caught in a summer downpour. Thank god Daniel Hendrickson, the Scandanavian Muslim is giving me some Deutsch tutoring. I need it! At my Cheese Endique studio i started prepping to film the sensational DeRohan Chabot who at 16 is the new art infant terrible who will soon dominate the international art market. De Rohan is an incredible sculptor,painter, poet, filmmaker, you name it he does it, and is a combination Rimbaud and Passolini all wrapped up in a beautiful blonde French package. I have to send Dennis Cooper a copy of the movie i made with DeRohan after it is edited, as DeRohan is a huge Cooper fanatic and is the living embodiment of a Dennis Cooper novel. This kid is the real deal, and is hyper masculine with testosterone oozing out of every pour, but at the same time he has this intense innocense and vulnerability. After filming we ate some food at a trendy Thai restaurant and everyone in the place was staring at him, and smiling in appreciation, the waiters even treated us to drinks and extra food, and several men approached giving him their card. We decided on having one last nightcap at Tabasco, a hustler bar at Nollendorky platz, what a mistake that was. The old geezers wouldnt leave us alone, and even the hustlers were trying to pick up on him and give him a freeby. My cinematographer, and coproducer of the film short, Marc Arthur who is 21 and a green eyed beauty in his own right was also getting lots of attention, as i walked both boys to the U-bahn some gay tourists from England pounced on them, and were not taking no for an answer, i swear a crowd of 15 men had surrounded us in a two block radius. A police officer noticed the commotion and offered to give the boys a ride home in his car, which they gladly accepted.
.: posted by Vaginal Davis 2:48 AM
Monday, July 14, 2008
COUNTESS OF WARWICK
Green eyed wonder boy Marc Arthur came by the Cheese Endique Trifecta to do some quick pick up shots. Afterwards we went out for dinner and dwinks, and he relayed his recent adventures in Leipzig where he met 4 humpy boys who have not been ruined by urban gay culture. These young studkins inact a semi S&M scenario involving army uniforms and abandoned buildings, where they literally kidnapped Marc for a week and brutalized him in a most becoming fashion where they all took turns pulling a train on him and turning his little boy hole into a man sized channel. It was a Falcon Video Pac from the 80´s come magically to life. Young Mr. Arthur even brought one of the ruggedest of the lads back to Berlin and enjoyed doing during the day what they had previously been doing all night in the former DDR-land. I am so jealous of Marc, he has all of the luck of the ItalioIrish.
Hector Martinez, who i have known since he was 15 and good friends with Fertile LaToyah Jackson´s sister Grace, came to visit me Sunday with his lover of 12 years Erik-La Pierce. The two took a pitstop detour in Berlin from their Gay Baltic Sea cruise. Hector is an executive with the large American insurance entity Affleck. This company is known for their TV adverts featuring a retarded duck. Hector is fortunate to have one of those giant homosexual disposable incomes, as no one else in the states can afford expensive vacations these days. Last year he and his lover took a gay cruise through the Meditteranean. The last thing on earth i would want to do is take a gay cruise and be stuck on a boat with a bunch of wealthy white faggots.
It was nice seeing Hector and Erik-La and getting caught up on LA gossip. One of these days i will have to write about what Hector told me about Christopher Ciccone, the no goodnic fugly brother of pop star Madonna, who has recently written a tell-all about his famous sister. In fact i don´t think i will write about it in this blog as i don´t want Mr. Ciccone to get any publicity on my account. Not that i am a big fan of his sister Mrs. Ritchie, and that she needs my protection, i just don´t believe in slagging the already slaggy.
.: posted by Vaginal Davis 11:30 AM
Saturday, July 12, 2008
MAMA SAY KNOCK YOU OUT!
The Lady Miss Ursula Rucker, first woman of spoken word poetry and sacred temple priestess of WoW, emailed me that i was on her guest list at the Akademie der künste in the Tiergarten, so of course i rode my lady bicycleta as fast as my tiny leggs could peddle them. Ms. Rucker who hails from Philly PA is a protege of the great poet Sonia Sanchez, and that shows in every fiber of her major ms. gorgeous being. This woman is complete confidence and poise stalking the stage, possessing it and the audience with the full power that is the unbridled black female vuvunga. And what a face, radiant and defiant, a conquering heroine wo-man soldier fierce warrior goddess fighting for her people. The Literature werkstatt and poesie festival, Berlin were fortunate to have such a presence in their midst. I have to go out and buy her latest album Ma´at MaMa.
.: posted by Vaginal Davis 2:02 PM
ASTHETIK DER INSTALLATION
The Ms. Davis summer reading recommendation is The Cairo Trilogy by Nobel Prize winner Naguib Mahfouz. Won't tell you any more about, just rush out and buy it! Had a lovely breakfast meeting with super hot tranny Wu from Los Angeles who is in Berlin starring in a remake of the Nazimova silent film Salome based on Oscar Wildes play. Directing the movie is Pauline of the Rhythm King. Wu brought me a gorgeous designer boquet of flowers and some tasty snacks, and we had a great time, a couple of juicy tranny's sitting around talking. Wu is one of the new breed of performative youngsters ruling LA, and revitalizing the stale nightlife. She puts on a weekly club at the old MacArthur Park dive The Silver Platter, which is fast becoming the talk of the town with performances by legends like Ron Athey and Nao Bustamente.
Later in the evening i met with Cheap fearless leader Susanne Sachsse, Marc Siegel, Scandanavian Muslim Daniel Hendrickson and his handsome Italian beau Piero for drinks at the famous West Sector Theater tavern Diener. Holding court at the bar in true Konig style was Fassbinder legend Volker Spengler who is a regular ensemble member of playwrite and director Rene Pollesch. I can't wait to see Volker in the next Pollesch piece "Dictator's Wives" which will premiere at the Volksbuhne in September. The great Volker Spengler is a magical human being with michieveous, boyish eyes that are vibrant, magnetic and sexy. What a treasure he is. Everyone who comes to my flat singles out a fabulous photo of Volker and I, in LA from 1999 at my post screening White To Be Angry/Skin Flick party at the dive bar The Daughter of Rosie O'Grady. The night was filled with amazing celebrity in the sensuous, womanly form of Margarita Broich, another big German film and theatre star who is also the wife of famed actor Martin Wuttke who stars in the hit Deutsch TV program Tat Ort, which is a tuetonic version of the American CSI franchise. I also met the internationally known heritage band leader Max Raabe of the Palast Orchestra, and his dapper boyfriend. I have been a fan of Mr. Raabe for many years, so it was very special gettting to meet him in the fleshy flesh.
.: posted by Vaginal Davis 6:34 AM
Thursday, July 10, 2008
BABY THE RAIN MUST FALL
Its been pouring rain on and off in Berlin for the last three days. Riding my bike back and forth from German language class has been a little gnarly at times, but also beautiful seeing lovely boys soaking wet so that their clothing becomes transparent----yum. Learning German has been rough. My class is from 2-6pm Mon-Thur with a 30 minute break, and being the morning person that i am, trying to pay attention and retain anything is a trial. K-Johnny Blue is also in my class, and is the star pupil and teachers pet. The two instructors are middle aged gay lovers named Kay and Stefan, and they are very patient and sweet with me, though it must be difficult with such a bad student like myself.
My school is called Babylonia and is a punk rock style laid back language academy in Kreuzberg. There are a few good looking males in the class, a manlische Kurdish/Turk named Fahrad, who Daniel Hendrickson, the Scandanavian Muslim would flip for, as he is tiny, muscular with a nice smile and bubblelicious Beyonce buttocks, and a young Australian boy named Reece who looks very intellectual and is soft spoken. There was this young, energetic, lanky Irish lad name Eric but his German was so good that he switched to the more intermediate class. Unfortunately not one man in the class looks like he has a dickus of deathos, so i doubt if i will be meeting my next contemporary temporary husband.
Last night the great Susanne Sachße had one of her stylish dinner parties at her eastside compound. To be invited to the famous oval table of Ms. Sachße is one of Berlin´s most royal treats. Enjoying the feast of Ranchipur was superstar DJ and top Euro performer Snax,who also performs in Peaches´band, infant terrible Travis Jeppeson with Slovakian lover Mario, juicy Anna Muelter, Daniel Hendrickson, Marc Siegel, Susanne´s gorgeous 13 year old twins Salome and Richard, and Richards little cute school boyfriend Jacob, who is going to turn into quite a hunkasaurus when he gets older. I had a breakfast meeting, so i left the soiree early and didnt get a chance to meet Miss Suzi´s new secret lover, the famous footballer Michael Ballack. But i did get a chance to watch with everyone the 1972 film The Baby starring noir actress Ruth Roman and Anjanette Comer. Snax had a copy of this insane film, and you can rest assured that the next production of Cheap will be Cheap Baby based on this cult film with Christophe de Rohan Chabot in the role of the adult baby, Susanne Sachße as the kinky social worker and yours truly as the overprotective mother. I´m so excited about this that we may put on hold doing Cheap Summer, our version of Tennessee Williams Suddenly Last Summer with Susanne playing once again Liz Taylor, mainstream German actor Moritz Bleaubtreau in the Monty Cliff role and Ms. Davis as Katherine Hepburn. We´ll see what happens.
The other evening i had a wonderous time with Lydia Hamann, one of my Weißensee students who also worked with me on the Arrogance of Youth project. We had dinner at a quaint little tapas bar, and dainties at Gemelli´s. Lydia is smart, sexy and uninhibited and one of my favorite Berlin girls. She really knows how to make this city come alive.
.: posted by Vaginal Davis 2:16 AM
Monday, July 07, 2008
SIE WERDEN IMMER GRÖßER
Claudia Gonson, the sweet and perky female husband of Stephin Merritt emailed me that the Magnetic Fields were in Berlin performing at the Passion Church in Kreuzberg. Of course i was there in a New York second with my youthful companion, the lovesexy tuetonic actor David Kross, who just made a film where he plays the love interest of Kate Winslet. Its a nice feeling to be the object of affection from a beautiful boy. Of course nothing can come of it, as he is such a puppy.
So lovely seeing Claudia and Stephin. Claudia was in good voice, and i always enjoy the banter between her and Mr. Merritt, and seeing them in this place of worship just made the whole proceedings extra special and sublime. The Magnetic Fields summer Euro tour will probably come to your town soon, so check their website at www.Houseoftomorrow.com and also go out immediately and buy their new album Distortion that is in bright pink dayglo packaging. One of the added pleasures of this particular tour is that long time collaborator Shirley Simms is with them, and believe you me, this is quite a treat as her voice is prominent in 69 Love songs, the bands opus. In fact you should rush out and purchase all the Stephin Merritt projects which include Future Bible Heroes, The 6ths and The Gothic Archies.
The eye candy of the band is pie faced Asian beauty boy John Woo on guitar and lean& lanky Sam Davol, the on cello, who has the most gorgeous mass of pre-mature grey hair i have ever seen, this side of a young Richard Gere. Both boys have cocks i´d sure like to chugg down on, and receive a mouthful of super yummy excess semen. I don´t know the marital status of Mr. Woo, but Mr. Davol is spoken for with two small children and a petite patrician blondine wife, and he lives in Boston. How do i know all this? Well there was an article about the Davol´s in the New York Times last year that was reprinted in the Hearst International Paper,The Herald Tribune.
.: posted by Vaginal Davis 9:58 AM
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