Speaking From the Diaphragm
The Vaginal Davis Blog
. . .From the Counsel of Inter-Continental Balistic Principalities
Saturday, April 24, 2010
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.: posted by Larry-bob 10:08 PM
Friday, April 23, 2010
CRAIG´S WIFE
For all you fans of Azteca Warrior here is a short emug from him:
Nigressa,
I have been all over the city and state for that matter for work. Can't complain, too many folks without work! I finally saw my Hot Buttered Jewish Gym buddy last week at the gym. He was working out with his hot GF when I saw them. She was her usual bubbly self. He was a little quiet.
Fechesita, in my ass hounding adventures, when you get the opportunity to give a guy, straight, married, etc... his first ass rimming it's a great experience for both. If you have the boy/man on his back with his knees to his chest, you get to enjoy what he has to offer, but more important to me at least! Is watching is facial expressions. When a straight dude is getting licked for the first time around his ass, his nuts, the portion between the nuts and hole and the sides of his inner thighs, it's all a new sensation. Guys don't know if they should laugh/giggle cause it tickles, moan, or start calling out for a Butthole Jihad. The result of all these sensations, especially when you finally dig into the hole, is an odd really Goofy and dorky Smile. For some reason this look really gets me going. Back when Azteca Warrior was a Marine, I got to enjoy that look often...Nothing better then a hot young fit Foondio to chow down on. As you always say, young bung hole is always sweet and tasty even if it's a little dingy.
OK, so back to my gym buddy, we did our usual small talk and then I went on my way with my routine. I turned and saw him while is GF went off to get some water. While I worked his hot ass he had his mug deep into his pillow so I didn't get to see his face. At the gym he looked right at me and he just gave me that Odd Goofy smile that I recognized as the "I can't believe this hole feels so good being licked-look!" I looked back at him with my serious Poker face and then he broke out with a really big cheesy smile.
So my sweet Crenshaw Rose, I have a feeling that a second opportunity awaits me. You know I'd be down for that, I'd have to do my Pupusa Style rim session or the sloppy Wet Burrito number that works for big butts like your hot hard Horse Ass!
Azteca Warrior
***
Had a delightful time with one of my NYU students Alex Casso who is here in Berlin on an art exchange program. We met at the Nobel Elf for drinks, then went around the corner to Festival Hall Kreuzberg to see MEN perform. MEN is the new hot band headed by JD Samson of Le Tigre fame. The place was packed with fans dancing and having a grand ole time. JD and her wilde lovesexy crew that includes sweet Ginger and hottie patotie young Michael (who was packing quite the penile package)worked the audience into an Alfred Hitchcock style frenzy. It was nice to enjoy the show with a handsome young companion, and see things through his youthful eyes. Also in the audience: Janine of PlanningtoRock, Anna Muelter of HAU, Tim Stutkin, Liz Rosenfeld, and editrix Manuela Kay of Sieggesaule.
***
The next day i was feeling a little under the weather when i was treated to a lovely luncheon by Marc Siegel on AkazianStr near the Cheese Endique Trifecta. Marc regaled me with stories of his successful tour of the east coast with Drag Superstar Mario Montez. I will be leaving Sunday for New York to work on my Ethyl Eichelberger Award show at PS 122 which is called Vaginal Davis is Speakingg From the Diaphragm. The kids from MEN said they want to be guests on my show, and that would be amazing!!!
Hope to see you this Saturday April 24th 9pm at Rising Stars, Falling Stars where i will go through another one of my frightening transformations. Feel free to bring along a baby Frankenstein or your gnarliest Berlin Nosferati looking best friend as we celebrate all things hideous with a special screening of the horror classic The Phantom of the Opera (1925) starring Lon Chaney and directed by Julian Rupert.
Vaginal Davis presents: Rising Stars, Falling Stars, a monthly utopian performative silent film event for the discerning filmgoer. Saturday April 24, 2010 9pm at Arsenal Institute für Film und Video Kunst. The Phantom of the Opera starring Lon Chaney with live musical accompanyment by Eunice Martin on klavier. After the screening join the ugly Vaginal Davis Jr. In the Rote Foyer for an intimate wine reception.
2 Potsdamer Str Kino 2 at the Sony Ctr Filmhaus in historic Potsdamer Platz. www.arsenal-berlin.de www.vaginaldavis.com
.: posted by Vaginal Davis 3:56 AM
Monday, April 19, 2010
KRAKATOA YEAST OF JAVA
This amazing emug just came to me from Arsenal Empress Stefanie Schulte Strathaus who is off traveling the experimental film circuit in the US and Canada.
***
Hello dears,
how does it feel under the cloud? Bitte keine großen Luftsprünge machen!!!
I have to tell you the weirdest story that happened to me in Winnipeg: When I arrived at the hotel, like a ghost late at night, they told me that I had already checked in a couple of hours earlier. I said well, that can't be true, because I had just arrived. But they insisted that Stefanie Schulte Strathaus was on her room and had already complained about having no warm water. Everyone was very confused, so they decided to believe me my identity and gave me another room. The next morning the other Stefanie Schulte Strathaus showed up earlier than me and the hotel people asked her to prove her identity, they compared credit card numbers, called Manitoba Film and Music who had made the reservation for her, and it turns out that this person really exists. But she got mad at the people at the hotel, insisting that she was the only Stefanie Schulte Strathaus in the world, no-one else would have this name and that I had stolen it from her. She left the hotel and I never got to see her. But the bellhop whispered into my ear: "She has your hair!"
However, my double had left and we went on to Vancouver. Like in Grimonprez' Double Take, when your double disappears you lose your identity. At the hotel in Vancouver my passport was lost. I tried to call the airline, but because of the vulcanoe it was impossible to get an answer. The next morning I spoke to BA call centers in India, the lost & found at the airport, the German Embassy, the police, the taxi company. No success, everybody told me that I should contact the other, it ended up in an endless loop. I was also told that if they would find my passport at all, they would have to give it to the Embassy, because it is Germany's property, not mine. And that would take a couple of weeks. At the Embassy they told me that I could get a temporary passport on Monday, but they wouldn't accept it at the US customs. So it looked like I could neither go further to the US nor back home because of the cloud.
After a million more phone calls I took a train to the airport and went to the lost and found. The guy didn't ask me for my name, but for the colour of my passport. I said it was red, he went to the back room and came back, holding it in his hands. He gave it to me and said, "now go and play the lottery". I took a taxi back to the city and the driver asked me why I had no luggage. I explained him that I was at the airport because I had lost my passport. He turned around and asked me "are YOU Stefanie"? They had informed already taxi drivers that my passport was missing. I wasn't sure what to answer, since I knew there was another Stefanie Schulte Strathaus around, but then I said yes and it felt like I had my identity back ...
Miss you all and hope to be able to fly back on Sunday!
Tim: Meeting with your family on Wednesday ;-)
Kisses,
Stefanie (the 1st)=
***
Saw the new film version of Dorian Grey, and its not very good. Fine oil Paintings should never hiss, or sprout faggoty maggots kids. Ta!
Went and saw Tom Ford´s version of Christopher Isherwood´s A Single Man. Mr. Ford had sent me a copy on DVD, but i wanted to check it out on the big screen. I liked it better smaller, but Mr. Colin Firth and Ms. Julianna Moore did put in some excellent performances and young British ingenue Nicolas Houth is mouthwatering throatcandy.
***
This just came in from DJ Snax:
HEADACHE is the new party brought to you twice a month by international musician and performer Snax and his partner, the debonair Michael R.
Every first and third Tuesday of the month, in Mitte’s Bang Bang Club, Snax and Michael blow your head with a festive, sexually mixed party full of cute boys, willing girls, drink specials and music so eclectic you’ll be begging for an aspirin. HEADACHE will host a special live act and guest DJ every night upstairs while downstairs, patrons with extra strong migraines can visit our soothing Wagner lounge, which offers mind bending visuals and ambiance.
HEADACHE is happy to launch our first party, TONIGHT, Tuesday April 20th, with none other than the one and only Namosh performing live. Namosh has been electrifying stages with his exotic, groovy music and performances since 2003. He is currently touring his latest LP, "Keep It For Later" (Crippled Dick Hot Wax), which can be described as cinematic, romantic, and danceable all at once.
http://www.myspace.com/namosh
Following Namosh will be our very special guest DJ for the evening; the legendary Matt Sims. Already known for his darkly provocative performances and recently on the heels of a touring opera with Olaf (The Knife) and Planning To Rock, Sims creates DJ sets known to be both brooding and cathartic.
http://www.myspace.com/mtsims
Guests will definitely want to stick around late as Snax closes the party each night with a DJ set sure to get your head (and other body parts) throbbing!
Start Time: Tuesday, April 20, 2010 at 11:00pm
End Time: Wednesday, April 21, 2010 at 7:00am
Location: Bang Bang Club
Street: Neue Promenade 10
City/Town: Berlin, Germany
***
Received this emug today from the charming art photog and gallerist Ms. Elly Clark whose traveling exhibition has been postponed because of all that ash, smoke and lava coming out of my erupting pie hole.
Dear All,
DUE TO VOLCANIC ACTIVITY, neither Elly nor her suitcase could make it to NYC - this week. So W U N D E R K A M M E R will be staged on Thursday 22nd April on the shelf of Clarke Gallery instead, presenting the work of all 11 Berlin-based/Clarke Gallery artists of the exhibition.
Curated by Elly Clarke and Jessica Brouder, this is the first Clarke Gallery exhibition that will travel beyond the confines of Elly's apartment in Neukoelln but to other venues, in either her or Jessica's suitcase. The contents of the show will change gradually as it goes; sales and additions in every city will ensure the inventory is constantly in flux.
Next May, 2011, W U N D E R K A M M E R will be shown once again in Berlin, after its journey, with probably quite a different collection from now. And New York will happen for sure at some point before the Autumn.
Wunderkammer is the German translation of Cabinet of Curiosities and the show incorporates sculpture, photography, drawing, painting and performance ephemera.
Please note: Since this has been a last-minute change, Clarke Gallery will not be serving drinks, so please Bring Your Own!
Next Stop after Berlin (Volcanic Ash permitting) will be St. John's in Newfoundland. We look forward to seeing you!
CLARKE GALLERY PRESENTS:
W U N D E R K A M M E R
in Berlin
22nd April 2010, 19:30-22:00h
Friedelstrasse 52, 12047 Berlin. Bei Clarke Klingeln
EXHIBITING WORK BY THE FOLLOWING ARTISTS:
Jessica Brouder
Elly Clarke
Julian Eicke
Alexander Heaton
Liz Fletcher
Sophia New and Dan Belasco / plan b
Christian Sievers
Vajra Spook
Anna-Myga Kasten
Kym Ward
Andrea Winkler
http://www.clarkegallery.de / mail@clarkegallery.de
.: posted by Vaginal Davis 11:49 AM
WIE SOLL ES AUF DAUER GEHEN; DAS MITEINANDER DER NATION?
Spent Sunday morning with handsome Daniel Hendrickson the Swedish Muslim translator to the shtars helping me organize a conceptual outline for my new stage piece Speaking From the Diaphragm which will co-star downtown legendinas Carmelita Tropicana and Jennifer Miller the famed bearded lady off Circus Amok. The sensationally handsome and talented artist Jonathan Berger will handle the costume, set and production design. This piece will premiere May 15th at PS 122 as part of the Ethyl Eichelberger Award i won. Well lets hope the Iceland Byork Volcano doesn't cramp my travel plans. We shall see just what Mama Naturrel has in mind for the Vagimule doll for springtime.
Mr. Hendrickson cooked an amazing breakfast of homemade biscuits and fritatas with his special mamosa party mix. The afternoon was major Ms. Gorgeous so we did the SonnenAlee ho stroll looking for humpy Turkish and Arab trade. Boy were the boys bursting out of their white pants. Delovely! We zoomed through Hasenheide Park and watched Ms. Nanna Heidenreich of Arsenal Experimental, her athletic gal pal DJ Olga Damnitz and Senol Senturk play a pick-up game of soccer. I have been feeling like i need some exercise, but now after watching them chase that little ball,i realize that soccer isn´t going to be the source of my becoming more physicall fit. Later Tim Blue cooked me a fabulous lemon grass, knobloch & fennel Chicken dinner that was just too perfect. Tim Blue is directing and starring in a version of Alice in Wonderland mixed with The Wizard of Oz via alien abduction for the Parkauer Theatre in Lichtenberg that will premiere in January 2011.
Headed to the Lido to see the triumphant Berlin return of Baby Diaper Joel Gibb and his Hidden Cameras merry minstral band. I havent seen them since Krems, Austria in 2008 for the Donnau Festival. What a magnificent show they put on complete with well choreographed dance moves. It was so playful and joyous that at times i was dancing along uncontrollably, then other i was crying from the heartfelt pathos of Herr Gibb´s beautiful voice and manly seductive stage ardour. The entire crowd in the auditorium were equally swept away.
In the audience the celebutant quotient was high starting with Anna Muelter from HAU, Yussi Etiman the divine Turkish guru of Basso Kollective, lovesexy artists Dean Sameshima and Austria´s beloved Mattias Herrmann who teaches at the Vienna Art Academy and has one of the largest penises in Christendom, DJ Snax, Wieland Speck of the Berlinales Panorama Section, juicy Enrico Dallman Joel Gibbs East German lover, adorable Felix Knoke of Der Spiegel Magazine with his handsome pal Jan, Edwuardo Cabra and brother Rene Perez of Puerto Rican band Calle 13, hunky actor Alex O'Loughlin & Val&Sebastian of Noblesse Oblige who were the opening act. Later i took Felix & Jan to Barbie Deinhoff´s for a nitecap and we were joined by the entire HC crew & admirers that included Alessio from bbooks and Tim Stutkin. Of course i wound up flirting shamelessly with HC drummer the humpy blondine beauty Farmer John of New Foundland. What i wouldnt do to become that boys permanent sperm receptacle.
In the morning Anna Muelter invited me for coffee and croissants at WAU Cafe, and she looked over my New York contracts. Anna is one smart, talented and highly skilled lady in matters concerning legaleeze both in Germany, the US and abroad. The director of the Hebbel Theatre Mattias Lienthal surrounds himself with a bevy of the brightest most beautiful women working in the arts in all of Europe, and Anna is one of his right hand gals. One of the wonderful aspects of working regularly at HAU is that it is a very female centered, and driven atmosphere. In patriarchal Germania that is something very rare in.
.: posted by Vaginal Davis 4:24 AM
Saturday, April 17, 2010
KÜSTENPANORAMEN
Forgot to mention that before going to HAU 3 i stopped at the WAU Cafe for some delicious cake and coffee. Everyone was sitting outside enjoying the lovely spring day. Ran into cute Israeli artist Imre who is the boyfriend of filmmaker Lior Shamriz. Imre is working as a film editor and part time for the WAU at the HAU 2 Foyer bar, and still occasionally bartending at Barbie Dienhoff.
I flirted with my favorite WAU waiter the tiny and sexy blondine Benny with the pretty blue eyes. Also hung out and sat next to at HAU 3 the delightful and charming curator Dorothee Wiener, with her distinguished looking male escort. Dorothee is extremely beautiful,elegant and patrician. Found out that we are both born the same year.
.: posted by Vaginal Davis 2:21 PM
TRAUM UND DER ALBTRAUM
Went to HAU 3 to see EIN WARNGEDICHT or Warning Poem by young handsome Turkish filmmaker and stage director Tamer Yigit. I have been wanting to see something by Mr. Yigit for some time as he is quite an alluring, brooding presence at the Hebbel Theatre. Warning Poem was being presented as part of an international festival for curators and programmers so the proceedings which were in German had English untertitles--thank god.
It was wonderful to see a piece with some young, fresh,and very intense Turkish performers who were also major Ms. Gorgeous. Their youthful bravado was a complete utter treat to the senses. The hornpig in me kept hoping that the two lead actors with short dark hair would take off some clothing. The boy playing Tony had one of those rock hard lean bodies and flat abs that you could wash your clothes with,plus a bubble,sniffable butt to build a dream on. He was extremely lovesexy in that ultimate bad boy big dicque arrogant manner that completely drives me crazy. The other dark haired lad was classically handsome, with a manlische square jawed Yilmaz Guney matinee idol good looks. The scruffy long haired kid playing Knut was chunky, but funky and had an endearing smile that lit up the house. The only girl was strikingly beautiful, with a lovely singing voice and a magnetic stage presense. She deserved more stage time, but certainly held her own amidst all the machismo posturing from the young men. My only complaint being that the cast screamed a great deal where restraint and reserve would have been more affective. Also having the live guitar playing and other soundscapes continuously during the recitation of text would have created a nicer sense of layering with the poetry. Its so standard German theater to have only quiet during the speaking of text. When will they learn that approach is very dull and boring. If I was working with this fantastic cast i would have them showing the audience their feelings via gesture,and tableaux,keeping dialogue to a minimum.
In all i was excited to finally see the work of the enticing Mr. Yigit and kudos to him and his juicy cast Almila Bagnacik, Ömer Tarakci, Talu Emre Tüntas and Haydar Yilmaz.
.: posted by Vaginal Davis 1:34 PM
DAS VERLOGENE PARADIES
Malcolm Maclaren died recently. I have only had one encounter with the punk rock maestro.In the early 80s at the Gagossian Gallery in Beverly Hills there was a Richard Bernstein exhibition of his Interview Magazine cover paintings.I came to the exhibit with the Afro Sisters, and the crowd was very hostile toward us and our look. One must remember that dressing ala the early 1970s wasn´t considered retro in the early 80s as some people were still sporting those fashions on a daily basis.
I think i was wearing a multi-colored caftan, and the Sisters were in performance costume mode donning super micro-minis with matching shiny pleather jackets & boots. This brittle blond art gallerist friend of mine was dating Mr. MacLaren at the time and she met me and the Sisters at the entrance of the gallery and escorted us to the VIP area where we partied royally with Christopher Makos, Andy Warhol, & Grace Jones who was coming on very strong to my Afro Sister „Pop That Cherry“ Jefferson aka: Priscilla Hazelwood. Mr. MacLaren was left speechless, and just looked at me the entire evening in a daze.
***
Took Anna Muelter of HAU out for a belated birthday breakfast at this cute little cafe on the canal banks. Anna is so sweet.The weather was perfect and we sat in the direct sun. Afterwards we took a girlish stroll and Anna showed me her new split level penthouse flat that she bought next to the Kreuzeberg hospital.
***
Filmed a new movie project directed by French beauty Pauline Beaudry and her handsome German ex-girlfriend Renata Lorenz.In this short subject I play the early 20th Century black vaudeville star Ada Overton Walker.I performed a distilled version of the cakewalk that left me with swollen leggs and feet for a day afterwards. Tan Bihn Nguyen designed the hair and make-up which was wonderful. Tan Bihn is a genius. Also starring in the movie is the amazing Spanish dancer Arantxa Martinez.
***
Der Spiegel writer Felix Knoke and his good friend and roommate Jan came by the Cheese Endique Trifecta the other day and we had a lovely time drinking and chittle chatting until the wee hours. Felix is adorable and he and Jan perform as a pick up band with my dear girlfriend Ms. Glen Meadmore whenever he performs in Europe.
***
Don´t know if this is real or not, but i got a very official looking letter requesting an autograph picture from someone representing Hamden bin Mohammed al Maktoun who is the Crown Prince of Dabai. Someone could easily be pulling a big practical joke on me, but all i can say is that i hope this Saudi Prince is goodlooking and well endowed.
.: posted by Vaginal Davis 8:10 AM
Thursday, April 08, 2010
EIN NACHTLICHER STREIFZUG
Art photog Annette Frick hosted a lovely formal supper at her large and spacious Mitte flat. Frau Frick lives in the only part of that area that isn't completely gentrified. Everyone feasted on the famous Frau's world renown lasagna, and the drink kept flowing until the wee hours. Annette surprised me with a belated birthday cake that was delicious to the taste and touch. Sitting around her gracious table handsome experimental film legend Wilhelm Hein, musician and cineaste Timothy Blue, video artist Evelyn Rüsseler, Johannes from Galerie Fischerundfischer, Solmas Shabazian the stunning internationally known Iranian videoartist with husband Stefan the typographie authority who teaches at the Cairo Art Academy and Berlin drag queen Juwelia who reminds me of a giant piece of delicious fruit that has taken on human form and characteristics.
***
I am still receiving a million emails from people who saw me perform at Semiospectacle in New Yorika.For those of you who were unable to attend Semiospectacle: A Literary Revue, there is now an image gallery up online with photographs by Bricktops archivist Don Spiro (http://tinyurl.com/yjkjkjl), a writeup at Art in America (http://tinyurl.com/yk4dsh4), Nubby Twiglet's post on her stunning Semiospectacle designs (http://tinyurl.com/ycdtnch), and a Semiospectacle Facebook group for news on future installments (http://tinyurl.com/yhlco75). Plus
Jeremy (J F Thompson) and Paolo Javier are co-curating a new performance series entitled P||R||O||J||E||C||T||I||O||N||S at Bowery Poetry Club, focusing on the intersection of text moving sonically through space and the movement of image across the surface of the screen. For more information and information on upcoming performances, you can join the series Facebook group at: http://tinyurl.com/yj32sr7.
***
And for all you ginger snap lovers, the hot young, bubble butt, big tittied LA based ginger artist Patrick Lee will have his first solo show in New York. Patrick is one of the most talented men I have come across in the last ten years and his work has to be seen to be believed. And if that isn´t enough for you he is also one fine piece of eye candy. If you are in New York do yourself a favour and check him out:
Patrick Lee
22 April – 28 May, 2010
Ameringer | McEnery | Yohe is pleased to announce its first solo exhibition of drawings from Los Angeles-based artist Patrick Lee. Patrick Lee opens to the public on April 22 and will be on view until May 28. There will be a public reception for the artist on Thursday, April 22 from 6 to 8 pm.
This exhibition will feature graphite works on paper from Patrick Lee’s Deadly Friends series. The drawings in this series are composite portraits based on hundreds of photographs that Lee has taken over the past decade of men he approached on the streets of Los Angeles. Lee is a master draftsman and each of his drawings is painstakingly crafted over many labor-intensive months of refinement. His technical skill is evident in the subtle nuances and visual complexities of his images; rays of light, shadows, muscles, pores, intricate neckchains, facial hair, even blemishes and scabs all are rendered in photorealistic detail.
Lee’s subjects are intimidating figures, often drifters, outlaws, and gangbangers, some with fascinating or frightening stories to tell. They are men with threatening stares and broad, muscular bodies covered in gruesome scars and audacious tattoos that indicate gang membership, prison time and hard-won life lessons. He explores the way in which these physical signs of aggression and elements of masculine style are utilized to communicate complex codes of identity and amplify the subjects’ fearsome masculinity. The artist focuses his attention not just on the surface of the body, but especially on the gaze of his subjects and the expressions of hostility, pride, stoicism, strength and apathy that they seem to wear as protective masks. Aided by his inimitable technique, Lee’s drawings go beyond the obvious harsh physical exteriors to expose the nobility and humanity of these individuals who society dismisses as outcasts or thugs.
Patrick Lee was born in Butte, Montana in 1979 and attended the Minneapolis College of Art and Design. Lee’s work has been exhibited at galleries and museums across the country including the Francis Young Tang Teaching Museum at Skidmore College in Saratoga Springs, New York; the Weatherspoon Art Museum in Greensboro, North Carolina; Rebecca Ibel Gallery in Columbus, Ohio; Western Project and Marc Selwyn Gallery in Los Angeles. Lee’s work is in permanent collection of the High Museum of Art in Atlanta, Georgia and the Museum of Fine Arts in Houston, Texas. Patrick Lee currently lives and works in Los Angeles, California.
Ameringer | McEnery | Yohe is open Tuesday through Saturday 10 am to 6 pm and by appointment.
For further information and visuals, please contact: Thomas Quigley at
TQ@Ameringer-Yohe.com
***
The divine Stefanie Schulte Strathaus empress of the Arsenal Institute für Film und Video Kunst celebrated her 28th birthday at The Blue Nile Ethiopian restaurant in Kreuzberg last Thursday. On hand was Tim Blue, Daniel Hendrickson with lover Piero Bonhomme, Susanne Sachsse, Nanna Heidenreich and gal pal DJ Olga Damnitz, scholar Nicole Wolfe with girlfriend as well as Herr Roman one of Frau Strathaus's oldest friends from childhood. Speaking of the Arsenal handsome Israeli Assaf Hochman took the doll to see the Romy Schneider tribute. Frau Schneider with Alain Delon and a breathtakingly young Jane Birken in the French psychological drama The Pool from 1967When it comes to the psycho sexual no one handles that better then Azteca Warrior in El Lay. Here is his latest whorestory:
Pachuca,
My morning routine starts off at 6:00 a.m. at the gym just about every weekday. Over the years I have made some cool gym friends. The super hot eye candy includes the pretty young USC boys who work out before class. For the past 2yrs I have become friends with this SUPER HOT ASSED Jewish guy and his sexy girlfriend. This guy is a ripped muscle mega Bubble assed man with a handsome masculine face, he’s 32yrs old. Sometime last year we exchanged cards and we communicated a few times via email. He tells me that my odd sense of humor and perspective on different issues is very intriguing?
While at the gym we laugh at some folks, talk smack etc… He sent me an email once telling me that his girl noticed my Cornelius stare at his hot ass. I replied by saying that a hot ass was my weakness, and that an ass like his needs manly attention! After that email exchange, I’ve received some odd emails from him. On another occasion I was talking to him and his girlfriend when this super hot young guy moved to use a work out machine right next to us. The guy was very hot faced with a smoking body, I looked at his girlfriend and just raised my eyebrows. My ripped hot assed Jewish buddy just looked and smiled and said, he’s too skinny. I said, that boy deserves a nice Man to Man Nude Dude massage. I told him that Nude Dude Massages could bring peace to the Middle East! He laughed and we went about our business. Since that conversation, he tells me that my Nude Dude Massages are the same as Windex for Greeks, the cure for everything, I replied and said, it was.
Today, I see him and his side kick girlfriend early in the morning. He sees me leave the gym in my sweats, he asked me, No suit today, I said, No, I have a free day to do some office stuff and that I would be working from home. I asked him, what’s up with your back? he seemed to be walking slow. He explained to me how he must have pulled something, blah blah blah. I told him, a nude dude massage would take care of that. Both he and his girlfriend laughed.
I made my way home and about 9a.m. I get an email from an address I don’t recognize. It had an address and nothing else. I remembered that he lived somewhere in the Valley. I did not reply, I got in my car and drove to the address. I parked in front of a small craftsman house and walked up to the door, it was opened. I called out, Hello, I walked into the house and saw a clean very well organized home. I see the hallway and the open door to the bedroom. I did close the door behind me. I walk into the room and there is my hot ripped friend lying in bed, ass up and naked. Pachuca, he had a professional body shave job going, not a single hair in sight. The ass was un-real, it belongs on a 16yr old Black cheerleader, it is round and hard and super white! He moved but didn’t show his face. I took off my shirt, pants and underwear. I climbed on top of the bed and on his body, I grabbed the bottle of lotion he had by the bed and started massaging his back. I was sitting on his ass with my knees straddled across him as I worked his back. After about 20 minutes or so I turned my body around and positioned my butt on his back, straddled him again and started massaging his lower back and butt! I worked his ass and broke out into a sweat. At this point, I could feel his heart beating, and mine was getting worked up as well. I did not have a boner, but I was leaking pre-cum that I wiped away a few times. I kept working his ass and moved my position again. Now I’m in between his legs, working his ass and his lower and upper back. I continue to work his ass and lower back and then start to make my way down his thighs and legs. As I make my way back up his thighs I make my way close to his hole getting deep under his crotch. At this point I do have a boner, mind you he still has his faced jammed into the pillow. I continue to work his butt and thighs and he starts to arch and buck back and forth. I spread his legs apart further and see that pretty pink hole. I continue and spread his cheeks apart, he is starting to gyrate his ass. So I take one more butt and lower back stroke and then dive into that hot ass and dig my tongue into that hot hole. I get a mouth full of not so clean ass hole. I figured, he’s straight, he thinks it’s clean. So as the experienced ass eater that I am, I continue and muster up enough saliva to clean that nasty hot hole. I casually lick the blanket to clean my tongue and get back into his hole, I do my tongue cleaning number twice. The boy in the meantime is insane, he is all ass spread and his body is red. I work that hole and put my arms under his body and lift him up so that I have him on his knees. I spread his ass and work his hole, while I reach under him and grab his nuts and reach for his cock. He had a really small cock, which was fine, I appreciate how God balances things out. As I held his hard cock and worked his hole, he was shaking. I like pulling the cock down and licking the back of the cock and working my way up to the hole. I really get worked up by that number and that worked him way over the edge, he let out a HUGE yell and a huge load! He then yelled- he thought he was going to fart. He freaked out, and ran into the bathroom and turned the shower on. I changed into my clothes and made my way home and back to work. I could taste his hole on the drive home. This man ass was so hot, his abs were just as hard as his dick.
Pachuca, I need St Saletia to cleanse my soul and get me back into loving Jesus and no more hot man booty sex. Although, I wanted to fuck him so badly, I knew that would have been a buzz kill. I have played with two other straight/married guys and they were fucken crazy over the sensation of getting rimmed. While in Atlanta, I was rimming a hot young dude, when I did the cock lick and hole number, he did fart in my mouth. It was a baby fart, but it was still a fart. He didn’t know what to do, I told him it was organic and that’s what happens when you stick your tongue in an ass hole. He settled down and we got right back down to business.
So there you have it. We will see how this man handles tomorrow morning when we see each other, if we see each other.
Warrior
.: posted by Vaginal Davis 6:36 AM
Friday, April 02, 2010
FITTING INTO GENE KELLY’S PENNY LOAFERS
Last night accompanied by Daniel Hendrickson and Piero Bellomo to the Arsenal´s Magical History Tour for a screening of the 1952 classic MGM musical Singin’ in the Rain starring Gene Kelly, a very young and queeny Donald O’Connor and Debbie Reynolds. Its weird that Ms. Reynolds even as a teenager already looked middle-aged. The true stars of the picture being Jean Hagen and Cyd Charisse. Ms. Charisse does a spot on Louise Brooks impersonation with legs to match, and Ms. Hagen who was nominated for an Academy Award has the broadest shoulders of anyone in filmdom. Stanley Donen and Mr. Kelly shared the directing chores, but its obvious that the true inspiration came from Mr. Donen who was only 23 at the time.
I was friends with Gene Kelly’s son Tim from his last marriage. We are both the same age, and Tim was one of the partners with Matt Dyke in the 80s dance club Nairobi Room. Tim would wear some of his fathers old clothes and they were the spitting image of each other. Like dear old dad Tim´s little legs could barely contain that bubble butt. I will never forget a New Year’s eve party at their Beverly Hills mansion on Sunset Blvd, the entire backyard has hedges resembling the maze in the Kubrick film The Shining. A few years after the party the house burned down to the ground.
And speaking of Matt Dike of Delicious Vinyl Records, i got a million emugs from people who read what i wrote about him and shared in their marvel for his talent as a DJ, producer and boy beauty. The magnificent writer Nancy Rommelman, one of my LA Weekly collegues also sent me a sweet note on the subject.
***
I had forgotten that Berlin at Easter is filled with a zillion homo sex tourists stomping through the streets, highways and byways looking for whorgies. Its hysterical seeing these chubby men stuffing themselves into tight jeans and braces desperately trying to look like hot Nazi skinheads. A shaved head and Fred Perry shirt doth not the humpy football hooligan make. You´re just a middleaged pepperpot with a bald head.
And now its time to talk about the Semiospectacle event I headlined for Columbia University which took place at PS 122 on Monday March 22, 2010. The event was curated by the glamorous 22 year old academic prodigy Ms. Mashinka Firunts , who I am proud to say was one of my Bricktops girls at Bricktops at the Parlour Club in Los Angeles. Received this sweet emug from Ms. Firunts so you get a taste of her marvelous writing talentas.
Dear Vag,
Lord Whimsy hit the nail on the head in his livejournal remarks (http://lord-whimsy.livejournal.com/610942.html), you were truly the Mistress of Ceremonies in our vaudevillian backstage room throughout the performances, spreading effusive charm to all those weary and weak and war-torn from the aggression of the spotlight.
I've made mention on multiple occasions of how formative experiences at Bricktops and with documentation of your work have been to the conception of the show, and as such obviously had not the slightest doubt as to the fact that the piece would be absolutely sensational, but really what you presented so far exceeded any recollection or expectation I held that I'm at a loss for adequate expression of gratitude for your contribution. Your piece, and your performative/lived persona transgress and cross-fertilize so many diverse communities and disciplines, producing electrifying hybrids that are essentially impossible to articulate. In discussions with friends, peers and spectators during and after the evening of the show, I frequently encountered usually grandiloquent critics being rendered speechless by your work. Graduate students at Columbia, gentlemen from the experimental poetics presse Ugly Duckling, denizens of the demi-monde, J. Hruska from Art in America, and burlesque sensationalists alike all pointed to an ineffable poignancy that eludes translation or comment. The liminal space you produced was habitable by neo-vaudevillians, academics, stripteuses, poets, playwrights. In short, I consider it a rare privilege to have been able to have a hand in showcasing something that spoke to so many, in so stentorian a boom, and on so many levels.
***
And now my notes on the evening in question. I was only able to view a little of the rehearsals of the other performers like the voltive figurine of Dr. Lucky and her Monster Beauty piece, juicy gamine Shonni Enelow and her My Dinner With Bernard Frechtmann, and the gallant Lord Whimsy and his Chimes From a Tin Chrysalis, but what I did see intrigued me to no end. The wonderful Lord Whimsy a patrician man of impecible taste and accomplishment gifted me with a copy of his latest tome The Affected Provincial´s Companion Volume One which contains a delightful plethora of essays, philosophical diagrams, poetry and other Arcadian Follies concerning the art of curious living and the reintroduction of ancient charm. I had a perfect time backstage getting ready with Lord Whimsy, meeting his beautiful wife and also sharing laughs with Dr. Lucky who is a modern day Texas Guinan, Ms. Enelow, Paolo Javier and his lovesexy crew that included Thomas Fink, Serena Liu and Geoff Olsen, Jeremy JF Thompson who completely captured the spirit of Charlie Chaplin during his glory days of 1925 when he was hosting orgies at AC Blumenthals penthouse suite at the Biltmore Hotel. I could see young Jeremy painting his privates with iodine and running madly through the suite as admirers gasped at his erection. O and the splendor of The Night They Raided Minsky Sisters rap tap tap tapping Eleanor Powell style into everyones hearts like they did at Bricktops Takes Man!hattan back in 2006. All my journalista friends were really impressed by the Mormen testimonials of Daniel Scott Snelson and houseband Granpa Musselman and his Syncopaters which featured handsome Bryan Reeder on piano. Mr. Reeder accompanied me as I sang Stichhaltiger Kunst.. I cant wait to receive a video of the evening so I can see everything as it was meant to be seen.
.: posted by Vaginal Davis 7:43 AM
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
50 MILLION FRENCHMEN CAN´T BE WRONG
Rising Stars, Falling Stars last night was perfect. A diverse crowd in overflow for the 1913 film What 80 Million Women Want with live accompanyment from the Blue Bros. Tim&kJohnny who brilliantly wove audio tracts from Angela Davis,Eileen Wornos,Emma Goldman and Assata Shakur into a seamless score plus some original recordings by Katherine Fischer aka: Mad Kate who works with kJohnny at White Trash Fast Food A-Go-Go. Bros Blue also handed out to the audience a sheet soliciting their participation in contributing extemperaneous outbursts.Helping me introduce the film was Swedish Muslim Daniel Hendrickson who played beautifully Eric Satie on the piano as i sung a ditty called Stichhaltige Kunst which incorporated text by Adorno and Bataille. I also made it clear that 80 million women don´t want philosophers Martin Heidegger, Jurgen Habermas or Peter Sloterdink. Enjoying the free flowing vino in the Rote Foyer-Arsenal Empress Stefanie Schulte Strathaus who celebrates her 28th birthday on April 3rd, please send her lots of juicy presents, she is the hardest working woman in Europe and deserves mucho gifts and cash$, the lovely Aston Brooks and partner Andrea of Stereo Code,Alex & Sarah of The CHEAP Gossip Studio bar, actress Susanne Sachsse with her gorgeous twins Salome & Richard Gershe, sexy Sasha of HAU,Enrico Dallman the handsome physical therapist to the stars with his sweet best friend from Bregenz, Austria, scholar Tavia Nyongo, humpy Jon from Montreal, members of the theatre group Schwartz Rock & Salomon, Mimosa Pale of the Himo Hat Shop in Neu Kölln, Dutch boy Daniel, well endowed Toby with an equally hung pal, Beatrice „Trixie“ Cordua, Evelyn Rüsseler, artist Angela Meritoupolous, Assaf Hochman with Mourning Becomes Elektra, and whitetress Helen Suhr.
***
One of my all-time favorite personalities is Billy Miller of STH, who sent me this little emug:
MAGAZINE was a fantastic publication edited and published by Didier Lestrade
from 1980-87. It was a truly unique accomplishment, especially in that era.
Unlike the homo "lifestyle" publications of today, MAGAZINE did not glamorize or
fetishize consumerism and presented interviews with interesting contemporary
homosexuals from virtually every walk of life - and from every age group! In
those days, there was no pressure to conform to industry standards and -as
fashionable and hot as Didier was back then (and he was a beauty)- he never
sucked the corporate cock or catered to fashionista dumb-dumbs. MAGAZINE was
glamourous without being exclusionary, and sexy without being body-nazi. In it's
way, MAGAZINE was pretty revolutionary and was certainly the first of it's kind
in the world. There had never been anything in the homo publishing world that
was quite as smart, or as beautifully designed, and at the same time so
completely OUT there... and if you ask me, there still isn't anything out there
now that can touch it.
CONGRATS Didier!
(click on pages at bottom of article for views of MAGAZINE):
http://www.viceland.com/fr/v4n3/htdocs/didier-lestrade-340.php
And speaking of gay magazines saw the latest copy of Butt Magazine that has the British/Nigerian lead singer of the indie rock band Block Party on the cover. The boy is very cute with a nice lean body. I saw him once in a towel at the Steam Sauna and he looks as good in person as he does in photos, but doesn´t come across as very interesting in this interview, which may not be entirely his fault. The video artist Ryan Trecartin is also in this issue spotlighted in a very truncated feature interview. The only thing i liked was the pics and one-on-one with humpy courtesan Greek Pete.
.: posted by Vaginal Davis 2:33 AM
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