VAGINAL DAVIS
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Vaginal Davis' Gossip

Platinum Oasis

Here is the hot fresh off the press gossip of the spectacular event Platinum Oasis, curated by Vaginal Davis and Ron Athey at the famous fisting motel Coral Sands July 14, 2001 from 4pm Saturday until 10am Sunday. Those who partook in Bruce La Bruce's snuff n stuff digital akshunist room were Howie Pyro, formerly of nyc's D Generation, now in the testosterone band Danzig. How's that for rock n roll realness? Plus Flea of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Leslie Mah of San Francisco dykecore band tribe 8, that awful photographer/pimp Bruce Weber who was with Doug McClemont of the gay porno rag Honcho, and his pal Calvin Klein. Doug and Calvin just came back from Paris chowing down on giant cheesy french dique. It was overheard that Bruce Webber almost had a Versace pulled on him by one of the former models he exploited. The hot kid was caught on the grounds of his estate with a loaded gun. Others working the motels catwalk, actress new lesbian icon Michele Rodriguez(Girlfight) with a very scared looking Vin Diesel, Dee Dee Ramone hard candy rapper DMX who is rumoured to be having a juicy salt n peppa affair with Eminem, Outfest board member David Geffen, Clive Barker, John Fleck, Lance Loud, model Jodi Kidd, Chloe Sevigny, Paris Hilton with fellow heiresa Balthazar Getty and Charles LaBelle from some arts magazine i never heard of called Frieze who was asking people a lot of questions and taking furious notes of all the installations. The winnebego parked outside belongs to famed Artist Kenny Sharf who was a last minute addition to the event. Actually Outfest nixed him participating because they thought his bego would attract too much attention and they asked him to move it but it conviently broke down and couldn't be moved. So much for the rule mongers. He was holding court along with Fred Schneider and Kate of the B52s, photogs Larry Clark, Frank Pierson, artist Damien Hurst, bon vivant Mickey Cottrell with David Hockney. Guin Turner of Go Fish and Chasing Amy fame was drunk as usual hanging out with her gal pal Ally McBeals Portia de Rossi in Professor Jennifer Doyle (of UC Riversides Cake) and Kisses Room Up to no pansexual good was Jenny Shimizu, director's Cheryl Dunye(HBO's Stranger Inside) Randall Kleiser(Grease) Bijoux Phillips and beau Sean Lennon, Gus Van Sant, Squeezebox's Michael Schmidt, El Vez the Mexican Elvis, designer Rick Owens, le deux cafe's Michele Lamy, members of Blink 182 and HIV positive former Playboy playmate and activist Rebecca Armstrong and fiance. ta

Vaginal Davis' star-studded birthday bash

Ms. Davis's party this year was a drunk and drunker smash. It was held at a Charles Bukowski bar-fly hangout with an old and illustrious history. Joining in the festivities were career dyke hearthrob Gwyn Turner (American Psycho) and her love interest Portia de Rossi from Ally McBeal, Will from Imperial Teen -- who has relocated to the Koreatown neighborhood -- Murmer Sheri Ozeki and her academic lady pal Eve Oishi giving rice on rice love, El Vez the Mexican Elvis and his main squeeze Luis from Pansy Division, who brought lady D an icecream birthday cake. Plus Ann Magnusen, designer John Bartlett, writer Brett Easton Ellis, The Donnas, Casey Spooner of Fischerspooner, American Pie sodomizer Jason Biggs, and Russell Crowe minus his new boo Tom Cruise. If you missed out on the festivities you can still send La Diva Davis a present, nothing kitchy please -- she likes practical things like beauty products, bath salts, candles, and dinners and brunch.

Here's the invite from the aforementioned party:

Please Join Vaginal Davis as she celebrates the 5th anniversary of her 27th birthday on Friday Feb 23, 2001 10 pm at the exquisitely greasy Monte Carlo II (formerly The Daughter of Rosie O'Grady Pub) 3514 West 3rd Street at Vermont in Koreatown.

your hosts: China Chow, Tom Cavanagh, Leos Carax, Adam Garcia, Monica Potter, Nelly Furtado, Ian Thorpe, Mathilde Seigner and Hayden Christianson

DON'T YOU JUST HATE GOSSIP?

It's not official but Vaginal Davis may soon be signing on the dotted line to do a solo dance oriented LP with Atlantic Records to be produced by the legendary Geza X. The record will feature songs co-written by Dave Harrow/James Hardway of Billie Ray Martin fame. Performing fellatio on a regular basis to Michael Caren, the recently promoted VP of A&R for Atlantic Records had nothing to do with Ms. Davis' newfound fortune. It's all about her (ahem) musical talent.

Don't tell her I told you but...

Vaginal Davis doesn't want anyone to know about her relationship with Actor Tom Cavanaugh the star of NBC's new hit show "Ed". The blue eyed white Satan, Lucifer, Devil-Man of a honky Mr. Cavanaugh wants to shout from the highest mountain top his love for the race horse arsed jungle temptress. Network execs aren't exactly thrilled by the pairing.

On His Jock

La Diva Davis is also carrying on with 21 year old Eastern European Laker ingenue Slava Medvedenko. The 6'10" 250 lbs rookie forward hails from the Ukraine and goes by the nickname Med Dog. Too bad the lovestruck basky pup doesn't know that Ms. D is also seeing his teammate Mark Madsen.

Democratic Conventioneering Gossip Report

Oh I feel like such a high powered political bitch with a week of high falutin shmoozing with my well connected friend Laura Hartigan who I met through Gloria Vanderbuilt's ganymede son Anderson Cooper. Laura used to work as a financial advisor for President Clinton and she and her handsome humpy husband are huge drag hags. They picked me up in a larger than life monster truck stretch limo. I love rich people with a twisted sense of humor.

We started the DNC week Sunday at Babs Streisand's big budget brunch for President Clinton and his tired presidential sexual library. You know this library won't be like the Library of Congress, but will have every porn tape of note from Debbie Does Dallas to New Wave Hustlers. In our posse was Hyam Sabonne the Fox Channel media mogul and producer of the Power Rangers kid show. Laura works for Hyam and he is the biggest single contributor to the Democratic fund. He can plop down at least a million with no sweat. He lives in the Beverly Park Section of Benedict Canyon not far from Sharon Tates house on Cielo Drive. His tacky prefab mansion is so ill you have to see it to believe it. One thing for certain, there is no accounting for the bad taste of the riche. After we picked him up we also stopped by the Peninsula Hotel to get that gay Congressman or Senator or whatever the hell he is named Tom Scott. He's around 40 years old and as dumb as a brick. He kept saying how his life partner can't handle being away from him for one moment so he was calling him the whole time on the cell phone. Male pattern lesbian domesticity--How dull.

When we finally arrived to la Streisand's compound in the Bu as everyone calls Malibu, we were shocked that there were protesters afoot. They were some anti abortionist group with these VistaVision big screen photos of dead unborn butt babies. I couldn't believe that they were allowing such a graffic display and everyone including the president had to see it. You couldn't avoid it. Maybe it was some sick joke of La Mr. Streisand - James Brolin.

The highlight of the brunch was when Babs had a nuclear hissy fit over the security sniffing dogs. She didn’t want them to make a mess of her grounds, and being a pet and baby hater I was in agreement with her. She really blew her wad when she wound up stepping in the dog doo. I could barely contain myself from laughing. So why bother and I laughed out loud as she gave me a dirty look. I didn't feel bad about going to this party and not being a contributor to the cause. I hate democrats. They're certainly the party of the people. People who are priveledged. At least the Republicans make no bones about where they're coming from. Democrats are candy coated evil.

The next day was the official opening of the convention. There I was with an all access pass. The convention itself is pretty boring. But there was a lot of hot eye candy with all these sexy young political boys running around in suits. In the Box seats behind the podium there was a delish buffet. I cruised Ben Affleck who is a lot taller in person than I thought he'd be because movie stars usually are 5 foot nothings. Harry Hamlin was there and he definitely fits that category. He was hanging out with Bianca Jagger, I couldn’t tell if they were an item or not. Isn't Harry married? Seeing him all I could think of was the bad gay movie Making Love. Other celebs were Diane Keaton who still dresses in Annie Hall realness, Whoopie Goldberg, Maria Shriver, Tom Brokaw, Stephin Stills, Christie Brinkley and Lauren Bacall and her young lover who is around 50 years of age which is young for her.

I started to get a hankering for some booty to sniff, so I took the Ho stroll around the convention floor and wound up outside and found the area where the protesters were allowed to demonstrate. Too bad none of the delegates would even get to see any of the cute anarchists because they were kept behind a fence like rats in a cage on the other side of the Staples Center near the Pantry Café which is owned by Mayor Riordan LA’s version of Gulianni.

In all I went to so many parties that my head started to do a Linda Blair. I didn't make it to the Paramount Lot Party because I was invited to this non political shindig in Laguna with all these hot male models. The other parties I attended the rest of the week were pretty non eventful including one at the newest hot spot The Sunset Room on Sunset and Cahuenga in Hollywood, where Cheryl Crow performed a lackluster set.

On the last night of the convention I went to this party on the Beach in the People's Republic of S' Aunt Monica at the exclusive Jonathan Club. I got to make out with this good looking mulatto representative from Tennessee named Harold or Henry Ford Jr. or something like that. It was fun to really get down and have some brother-to-brother, dinge on dinge love. Honey I was partaking in the ultimate revolution.


A time of mourning

Vaginal Davis asks a moment of meditative silence in memorium of her late ex-boyfriend John-John Kennedy. Vag had a brief love affair with him before he was married which is chronicled in the book Unnatural Disasters edited by Nicole Panter, in the chapter Dead President's Son.


TORN BETWEEN THREE LOVERS

...and she's feeling like a fool. That's the plight of lovesick Vaginal Davis. The grrrl can't help it that actor/heir-apparent Balthazar Getty keeps showering her with extravagant gifts (which she always promptly sends back) and that Hip-Hop Mogul and Source Magazine dinge queen publisher David Mays lusts for a taste of her Kentucky Race-horse booty, but now add Savon Kevorkian, the pile driving nephew of Dr. Death himself to a virulently growing list of gentleman admirers.


I Heard a Rumor

Maybe while standing in the supermarket checkout line, you read in the National Inquirer or the Star about Edward Norton (nominated for an Oscar for American History X) and Vaginal Davis. Well, Ms. Davis and Mr. Norton are just good friends, nothing more. He was simply trying to talk her into a role in the upcoming movie he's directing, Keeping the Faith, though whether he wanted Ms. Davis for the role that eventually went to Jenna Elfman or the Anne Bancroft part is unknown at this time. Vag turned down the part, though, because it was not right for her (I guess she was either too old or too young for it.) Rest assured, however, that there is no romantic entaglement between them and that it is strictly on the platonic plane. We won't mention Vaginal and Balthazar Getty, though!

COOKOO FOR CAUCASION COCK

And boy did Sucker hostess Vaginal Davis get a lot of it this week. Seen experiencing the once over twice: troubadour Rufus Wainwright, director Wes Anderson(Rushmore) and writer Owen Wilson and his actor brother Luke Wilson (smarting from a recent break up with actress Drew Barrymore), junior guru Gotham Chopra, and gay bros Lachlan and James Murdock of the famous Murdock dynasty. New York punk chanteuse Jennifer Blowdryer was the headliner, and she showed them how an old school punk veterana does it with assist from legends Don Bolles(Germs) on drums, original Runaway Kari Krome on bass and Glen Meadmore on guitar. Now thapt's what I call beauty.

SCENE AND HERD MENTALITY

Who got caught at Vaginal Davis' Club Sucker with their pants down? Chilean tennis hottie Marcelo Rios,New York designer Sandy Dalal, Gwyneth Paltrow and her homosexy younger brother Jake, plus Taylor the drummer with the Foo Fighters--AGAIN(we're getting sick of him slobbering for a piece of Ms. Davis' onion booty). Actor Ethan Embry and his Baywatch beau David Charvet, who spent the entire night giving fierce dagger eyes to his ex-lover, the God's & Monsters star Brendan Frasier who got very upset when Katie Holmes of Dawson's Creek knocked his beanie off accidentally-on-purpose to showcase his doll-hair implants. Too much girl!

You'll never guess who was at Club Sucker. Lachlan Murdock, the handsome gay son of Rupert Murdock. He was checking out Sucker hostess Vaginal Davis and The Bell Rays a hot new rock 'n soul band from Riverside. Also spotted: Ethan Stiefel, principle dancer of the American Ballet Theatre who was making out with boyfriend singer Ben Taylor(son of Carly Simon & James Taylor). Rob Zebrecky of the band Possum Dixon, director Wes Anderson(Rushmore) and teen actor Jason Schwartzman whose band Phantom Planet, signed to Geffen will be performing a surprise show at Sucker in the near future.

Here are a couple items about Vag's appearance at the Beck/Al Hanson show from The New York Daily News and Michael Musto's column.

More Sucker Gossip:

May 24th Gus Van Sant and his 22 year old trophy-wife of a boyfriend, Ben Alexander came by the club to meet up with Gus' best friend Bruce La Bruce and were quietly drinking Martinis in the Mitzi Gaynor lounge area when a tired Eve Harrington actor/writer hack named Echo swooped on Gus. His boyfriend protecting his honor socked the dunce and an ensueing brohaha commensed. No one was hurt, but only in LA kids. (see this item from Michael Musto's column.)