Speaking From the Diaphragm
The Vaginal Davis Blog
. . .From the Counsel of Inter-Continental Balistic Principalities
Thursday, April 22, 2004
CILANTRO DEGUILE
Received this lovely emug from Tony Arena, aka: Anonymous Boy, the talent behind the sexy comic novels:
Hey Dr. Davis,
This is Anonymous Boy, writing to you in hopes that kind Gleeson will forward my email to you since I either do not have, or I cannot locate your current email address. Long time no see nor hear from. Hope you are doing well. I examine your blog regularly so I always feel like we're in touch...although it hit me today that we aren't really, since I'm only in touch with what YOU'RE up to and you have no idea what I'm doing or if I even am alive. Well I do live! Me and my honey Ron are doing fine although Ron is still unemployed due to the aftermath of the World Trade Center catastrophe. As you may recall, he worked at the building across the street and was under the 2nd Tower when those "Holy" warriors slammed their hijacked airline into it. Yes, it was years ago, but seems like yesterday to us New Yorkers who had to witness that flaming monstrosity with our naked eyes. There is a club in the vacinity of the fromer World Trade Center called The Knitting Factory and Ron and I went to see the incredible english punk band The Fall there recently. (The Fall are the last band from the class of English punk 1977 who are still standing...never broke up...never went on hiatus...never sold out...always continued to release records.) Anyway I was speaking to the guitarist Ben, whose been with them the last four or five years and he said to me The Fall will always come to NY because they respect the strength we showed after 9/11. In comparisan...when a little bomb went off in their home city of Manchester some years back-people were unable to function for a year. But NYC just picked itself up and went back to work. I thanked him and told him we respected The Fall's bravery, because The Fall were one of the only touring bands who had the balls come to NYC immediatley after the disaster and we never forgot that. They were the first band we saw after 9/11, and they came here with the ruins still being carted off and the fire department still trying to put out the flames. Every other touring band cancelled their NYC tour dates in fear! But not the Fall. Speaking of bravery...singer Mark E. Smith broke his leg and hip shortly before going on this current USA tour. Even though the doctors told him not to get on the plane, he came anyway and sang from the seated position and was helped on and off stage my his crutches and a stage hand. Now there's dedication for ya! So my point of this long missive is that Mark E. Smith of The Fall came across the sea with a broken leg and hip to perform for New Yorkers. If he can do that for us I have to ask when are YOU going to return? Our bleak city is bleaker without your "satanic grin."
Do you remember when you performed at Don Hill's and pulled down my underwear to put my genital organ on display for the crowd? This is something no other performer has dared to do before. Not even Mark E. Smith. See? You also have bravery. Therefore you must return here. Please do so soon.
In case you are wondering what I've been up to, Ron and I still do our public access TV show with our stuffed Polar Bear named Snuffles. Also, I still draw Anonymous Boy drawings and have my own monthly "Anonymous Boy" column in Maximum Rocknroll magazine where I mouth off about whatever the fuck I feel like. In addition, I've done a comic book story for the new edition of BoyTrouble for David Kelly and Robert Kirby.
http://www.davidkellystudio.com/bt.html It's a cute little story about gay punk boys in longing, as per usual. What else have I been up to? I recently bought a DVD of the movie "Suburbia" about your home town LA punk scene. I hadn't seen this film since it was in the theaters and I was a teenager about the same age as the kids in the movie. Watching that flick again revealed to me how terrible it actually is, something that must have gotten past my teen-boy eyes at the time. But perhaps you have some sort of strange affection for this atrocious movie so I'll refrain from attacking it further. But who knows? After all, how can any movie be considered even remotley "good" if it does not contain at least one cameo appearance by Dr. Davis herself?
I have a band now, but we do not have a name. All day long I come up with names for my band but I fail at choosing a good one. The Out To Lunch? Veal Bumpkin? The Grunts? Spinach Pie? Jean & Joan and a Who Knows Who? All terrible names. All the good names for bands have already been used up by you. Perhaps my little band is destined to be forever nameless. For this I blame you. Well anyway you are probably asking yourself what prompted the bizarre Mr. Anonymous Boy to write to your holiness? Well I'll tell you. I saw on your website that you went out dining with one "Anderson Cooper" and I wanted to know if this so-called "Anderson Cooper" was the same silver-haired fox on CNN. I'd heard rumors that Mr. Cooper was a homosexual od some sort and if that is true it only makes sense that he should be dining with you because what self-respecting homosexual can keep his sweaty mits off of you? Not me that's for sure. Oh V.D. you're so impressive. You know all the stars...largley because your a star yourself. I'm sure it's all you can do to fend off the Eve Harringtons climbing out to the woodwork. "Eve Evil. Little Miss Evil." "Ah Eve! The golden girl. The girl on the moon. Life has been good to Eve...." but I digress.
I've been a theater queen of late. I saw Larry Kramer's gay play The Normal Heart recently and was devestated. Last night I saw Caroline Or Change and was bowled over. There were several parts in that musical for you miss thang...all of them Jewish. Not I'm kidding...but it was fucking amazing and very different. I wish you lived here and we could go to all sorts of Broadway shows together. Some of them are so brilliant they leave you on the floor sobbing. Taboo was not among them. Boy George and Rosie O'Donnell must loathe all homosexuals to bring such a wretched mess to our shores. Who want's to see a show where all characters have nothing to do except indulge their obsession with getting fame and narcotics? Well, actually that makes it sound more interesting than it was.
Oh, I've gone on too long. I'll wite again some other day.
Bye
Tony Anonymous Boy
SKINTRAL WAYTION
Been seeing a lot of films lately, I don't know why, I've just been in that kind of mood. Went to Ms. Sunset Five, the Laemmle House and watched "Young Adam" with Tilda Swinton and my boy, Ewan McGreggor. Any chance i can see Ewan's magnify peter i jump on, but its always better looking in the fleshy flesh, and i'm so fortunate that i did get to see his member in person, though it wasn't erect.
Guess who lurks the lavatories of the Sunset 5? Yes, you got it, that nutty ginger headed dorkus Mike White of "Chuck and Buck" and "School of Rock" fame. I adore Mike, he is an unabashed, shameless hornpig. One minute he's at the stalls, the next he's on his cell pretending to be talking to someone, at the threshhold of the loo. Oh Calcutta!
I also saw that porn ingenue Matthew Rush, the Falcon Exclusive and star of yet another "Making Porn" Ronnie Larson theatre revival. Matthew is one funny looking pinhead of a mulatto blue movie star. There's something about his face and body that is just so offkilter. Matt was eating at the famous piss elegant restaurant, The French Market Place. I was there interviewing the Ditty Bops for the LA Weekly. The girls rode their cute mountain bikes to the interview---just darling. I'm so glad the DittyBops new record is getting a lot of airplay on KCRW.
Speaking of cruising, i had a high time lighthousing all the hunks entering the CRUNCH gym. Boy was i giving them hairy eyeballs---some of those bodies are unbelievable. Of course you can tell that there isn't much else going on with some of those young men. And they are so completely aware that they are being watched.
Also saw this Mexican film called "A Thousand Clouds of Peace . . ." the title is taken from the last line of a poem by the great Passolini. The movie is very poetic, filmed in stark high contrast black and white, in a non linear fashion. Manohla Dargis gave the flick a high score in her LA Times Review, and i can see why she liked it. The movie is bleak, and the films piquant little star has such an expressive face.
I also saw two mainstream films. "Ella Enchanted" which stars the the very likeable ingenue Anne Hathaway and a pretty Brit named Hugh Darcy. It was fluffy and light and i was somewhat flavouring that, though the picture could have been directed better. yes i saw "Hell Boy" with Selma Blair. Its my guilty pleasure, what can i say?
What a week. Went to see Lisa Teasley read from her new novel "Dive" at Borders Books in Hollywood. She looked so majestic and in such command. i'm so proud of my little baby award winning author niecey. She was meant to conquer and she's doing just that.
Went to the American Cinemateque to see Augusta's movie docu on the Velvet Hammer. Its delish. Really sparkling on all accounts. The other movie Broad Daylight didn't do it for me, so i walked out. I wanted to stay and see the live performances by Kitten DeVille, Bobby Pinz and Anna Bells, but i was just too exhausted.
.: posted by Vaginal Davis 10:58 AM
Tuesday, April 20, 2004
SALOWOWENTEN COURT
Last Wed went to dinner with Edith Head, Fertile and his lovely fiance Yadi, to that cute East Indian Vegetarian restaurant on Sunset and Normandie. We were headed to Real Food Daily on LaCienega, but we were all so starved that we decided to go someplace closer. Had a marvy time, and the food was delicious. Love Fertile's fiance. She is sooooo good for him, and quite the vivacious young lady. Miss Edith was also in high spirits and kept me laughing out loud. I'm so proud of Edith. She's taken the break-up of her marriage to Steve of the Vandals, well. The girl doesn't waste any time. She's found herself a place for her and daughter Eva to live, and is managing to keep an amicable relationship with her ex. Bravo.
Andy Hunter of Mean Magazine gave me an assignment to interview Farnsworth Bentley. I love the man's name so i agreed, though i know absolutely nothing about him.
We were supposed to do the interview over the phone at a certain time, but Mr. Bentley's publicist didn't call to make the connect. I waited for a half an hour before she did call saying that Mr. Bentley was in a meeting and would be running late. That meeting took even longer and i was growing impatient with the whole matter, and called my editor to see what was underfoot. The publicist finally connected us and the interview went smoothly, though there were many annoying interruptions. Mr. Bentley was pleasant enough, though i don't think we could ever be best friends. I have to give him credit for grifting his way into a career as a bon vivant. As long as he doesn't take himself too seriously, and stays away from the booze and the pills, he could have some longevity. Something tells me that won't be the case.
Had an emergency power bitch meeting with my Platinum Oasis Crew. I guess the owner of the Flex Compound doesn't want to let us use the space for our art event. The recent bathhouse stink that is going down is making him want to keep a low profile, like that will help his cause. Homo's never know what is good for them. The Flex is perfect, but we also have plan B, Q and T, but if none of them work out we will just not do it this year, which is fine with me since i have enough on my silver laden plate.
Bricktops on Friday was a veritible hoot. Rebecca Lynn really shined singing a bunch of nifty numbers with a cute combo backing her up. I especially loved her rendition of "I'm a Dreamer, Aren't We All?". Lots of cute kids running about. Every week there are new people checking Bricktops out.
I was in a flurry because Andrew of Gould was on vacation in England, and i'm lost without my pretty Brit. Luckily Cesar Vega helped me. Cesar is a gem.
Mr. Uncertain took the nite off so it was the perfect opportunity for Bricktop to go into rehab. Buster Beaute' the star of Hustler White came by to be guest DJ and host and did a knockout burlesque routine stripping down to his candyapples. The pretty babies seemed to enjoy it.
Fantastic seeing Gwyn Kahn and beau at the club. Gwyn's grandfather is tin pan alley songwriter Gus Kahn. Miss Augusta looked divine. Her Velvet Hammer docu will be shown Wednesday at the American Cinemateque at the Egyptian Theatre. I still haven't seen the film, so i'm anxious to catch a peek.
Dance scholar Jens of East Berlin, came by also. Jens is such a sweetheart. He teaches at a college outside of London. DJ Pirate Jenny seemed to be surrounded in cute young men, and i have a crush on the bubbly butt boy who is a member of Heather Casssil's Toxic Tittie Collective. Gregori Derangere the star of the new movie Bon Voyage was also flirting with me in my boy drag look. He's much handsomer and younger looking in person then in the movie, and his female co-star Virginia Ledoyan is stunning. They stayed till after my show along with the director of Bon Voyage whose name i can't remember.
.: posted by Vaginal Davis 10:18 AM
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