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Speaking From the Diaphragm

The Vaginal Davis Blog

. . .From the Counsel of Inter-Continental Balistic Principalities

Saturday, May 17, 2008

EXPRESSIVE SCHMUCK KREATIONEN
Tim Blue and I met with the youth group at the Stahl Theatre called Straight to Stage. The kids were much younger then Fight Club at The Hebbel. This group were between the ages of 10-15, and were very, cute, focused and determined. Their peppy facilitator Karen, and her assistants had them on a very tight schedule. They are working on a project called Julia & Julia, a girl/girl love story that also encompasses class conflict. We watched them work for a few hours, and also had a delicious lunch with them, and the Intendant of the theatre, a man named Wolfgang who is a big Nick Cave fan from the Birthday Party days in Berlin in the early 1980s. The girls seemed to really get into filling out our Slam Book, and were doing it in a very creative fashion.
Later that afternoon i finally got my bike fixed at this shop where the repairman was really sweet and jovial----I think he was a dinge queen.
My bike has been broken since November, and with this warm weather i had to splurge and get it up and running. In the early evening i rode to the Herbert Tobias exhibit at the Berlinishe Museum in this wierd area that is between Mitte and Kreuzberg. Tobias is a legendary German faggot art and fashion photographer famous from the 50s till his death in the early 80s. He is responsible for giving Nico her name, after one of his lovers, the Greek filmmaker Nico Papitakis, who worked with Jean Genet. There was some great fashion photos of Nico when she was a teen in the 50s, and a picture featuring a great looking young, Klaus Kinski, and Andreas Bader of the RAF, who was also one of Tobias' hot tricks. My friend, the brilliant art photog Annette Frick also showed her lovely short documentary film on Tobias which features some of his more daring S&M work that the timid curators of this show have pretty much decided to ignore, which is typical of institutions. It was great seeing Annette and boyfriend Wilhelm Hein, as well as the Cheap gang, with fearless leader Susanne Sachße, film historian Marc Siegel, Scandanavian Muslim Daniel Hendrickson, and Tim Blue with his Jamaican concert pianist beau David. Also saw my Berlinale intern Julius Bauer, engaged in an intense conversation, Austrian poet Sissy Tax. East German super 8 filmmaker Thomas Werner, Trixie, the famed former prima ballerina with the Frankfurt Ballet, and friend of Jack Smith and star of the movie "Trixie" by handicapped British experimental filmmaker Steve Dwoskin. Trixie's husband Peter Schonherr, the experimental cineaste who worked with Otto Muel, was huddled next to dear Anna Muelter of The Hebbel Theatre, photographer Andreas Fux, actor Constantine Berger with his SPD boyfriend. The SPD is Germany's version of the democratic party. Herr Berger has one of the largest penises in Europe, and him and his politician boyfriend love to make passionate love in the Reichstag after hours. Now that is hot!!!!!
Also seen schmoozing at the exhibit: Detlev of the Schwules Museo in Mehringdamm, Gunther, the famed muse of Karl Lagerfeld and hero to the hearing impaired community of Berlin, independent curator Frank Wagner, and Ricardo Tisci, the humpy Italian working in Paris who heads Givenchy Haute Couture, Ready-to-wear and women's accessories as well as the men's wear and accessories division with the LVMH colossus. Talk about a success story, i remember when i first met the exquisitely handsome Mr. Tisci he was working for Puma. I still have some of the swag he first gave me.

.: posted by Vaginal Davis 2:03 AM


Wednesday, May 14, 2008

BEGUILER OF STARS
Met with my wonderful Wießensee students Joana, Lydia and Jenny at the cute Neu Köln queer space Silver Future. It was lovely hanging out with the gang, dwinking and snacking, before we begin a week of workshopping at this container space north of the Hermannplaty. The bar gets quite lively, and has an infectious energy. Vivacious owner Katta wasn't wearing her Elvis Herselvis hairdo, but she is so marvelously personable, and is such a warm hostessa that this pub is becoming my new favorite place in all of Berlina.
Earlier i met with Empress Stefanie of the Arsenal and her right hand girl Nanna Heidenreich, to solidify my Rising Stars, Falling Stars program for June and also to look through their database of films to fill out what i will be presenting for the rest of the year. Next week on Saturday May 24th we return to the world of the film serial and The Perils of Pauline starring one of the first screen international superstars Pearl White. The 1913-14 production will feature the Blue Bros. Tim & Kjohnny with live acommpaniment, and this time we will be in the smaller Kino 2 theatre for a more intimate feel. The event starts earlier at 7:30pm, so feel free to come and go, get a snack or two, but stay afterward for drinks in the rote foyer. Every month there are new people, so you never know who you might wind up with as the evening progresses.
I am so grateful to Nanna's hot girlfriend Angelika for bringing me back from the states some drugs in the form of American style aspirin, and cold tylenol PM. Miss Angie baby you are a lifesaver!!!!
Every day i spend most of the morning to late afternoon it seems at the Kunst Library near the Christiane F. Zoo Banoff. The hottest, most sexiest boys can be found at this library stalking the open stacks. Yummy, yummy and more under the yum yum tree. Yesterday when i was leaving, i saw a super humpy Babylonian gorgon of a boy, with peaches and cream complexion, dark hair, full pouty lips, a rack of warmed over death and booty to build a dream on, as i was staring at him, some little balding man approached me and asked if i spoke English. Still dazzled i mumbled in the affirmative, and the troll turned out to be some Jesus freak trying to prosyletize me. The holy luck of the doll!

.: posted by Vaginal Davis 3:19 AM


Tuesday, May 13, 2008

RENCONTRES
Super busy with projects lately. Not only am i working on lesson plans for the art students at Wiesensee, but also the Art Center Design School in Stuttgard and the Clubszene project with high school kids throughout Berlin at the Hebbel Theatre. Tim Blue had me over to his Neu Köln flat for some working lunches. Tim is an excellent cook, just one of his many manly talents that include music, writing, art, sexing, and filmmaking. He showed me a work-in-progress of a new flicker he shot while at the Zurich Airport and its beyond genius. After working with Tim on some heavy brain calistenics, i treated myself to a long walk and cruise through the Hasenheide Park. I checked out the gay cancer shelf scene, where the fugmo homeysexuals lay out in the sun, and bake their snakeskin handbags to perfection.
Ran into Christian, the German friend of wonderful Billy Miller of the Manhattan Review of Unnatural Acts (Straight To Hell). At least I think his name is Christian. He was living in New York for years, but has just returned to the Fatherland, and is also pals with Joel Gibb of the Hidden Cameras. I'm excited that he will be bringing Mr. Miller to Berlin for a short term residency.
***
During the long bank holiday-there are so many religious celebrations in Deutchland. I think everything even closes on the day the Christ child first farted, and had a bowel movement. Suzi Su, the fearless leader of kollective Cheap cooked a scrumpdelio 16 course Spring Feast for all the Cheap Blacky cast and crew. The Vagimule Doll loves to eat. Food is more important to the woman then sex, though she likes combining the two. Before dinner at 8 on Sunday, the lady Ms. D took a ho stroll through Friedrichshein Park.
Lo and behold!--It was giant SUV stroller family day----Yikesis!!!!
I can never quite figure out the proper etiquette for park cruising. Wound up spending 90 minutes talking to a salty dog Frenchman, who has lived in Berlin for over 20 years. The poor man was probably very goodlooking 30 years ago, he still had a lean, hard muscular body, but was a bit too alcoholica for my taste, though it was nice having a hen party with him and chatting.
On the way to La Susanne's compound i ran into Kiki Di Monteparnesse, the sweet assistant to Bruce La Bruce producer Jurgen Bruning. He had just finished a grueling porn shoot, but as always was in good spirits, as we gabbed like two convent girls dishing and dissing. Its always a pleasure to see Madame Kiki.
At the dinner party, the entire gang was on hand, film historian hottie Marcu Siegel, coveted translator to the gods and Swedish Muslim Daniel Hendrickson, The Blue Bros.---Tim & KJohnny, that French wunderkind Christophe Chemin, Tan Bihn Nguyen, the best make-up artiste in all of Germany and quite the hysterical card of a cut-up, Dragony Yvonne Asler, the Serbian Prince Valiant, plus vivacious Anna Muelter, Assoff "Gisele" Hochman, and bubble butt bedroom eyed Turkish dreamcake Senol Senturk. Lots of laughter, dwinking and joyous frivolity ensued.
Christophe has a French producer friend who wants to finance a Cheap Blacky film, and Suzi wants to shoot it in a Hungarian villa---will keep you posted on those developments.
***
Rehearsed with KJohnny Blue at his new spacious Neu Köln flat. I am going to open up for the Kill Rock Stars recording artists The New Bloods on Thursday May 22nd at the Club West Germany on Skalitzer Str 133 doors open at 9pm and i go on at 10pm. After rehearsing i had dinner at the Kofte Imbiss with KJohn, cruised the Hasenheide to see if there was any action going on, there wasn't, but saw a bunch of cute, young, booty pie Turkish and Arab boys in their uniform of white pants and bucks hanging out with family and friends being young and enjoying the park on a nice warm Spring day. I like Hasenheide, but the icky African and Caribbean drug dealers need to learn how to sell illicit narcotics better, their two bit operations are so irritating.
And i can also do without the white trendy German kids with dreadlocks and their drum circles. If you cannot keep a basic beat, you have no bizness with a percussive instrument. Walked through Kreuzeberg, stopped off at one of the Spring street festivals and oogled some gingers and blondines, walked through the Tiergarten via Potsdammer Platz and did some ho strolling through the gay cruizing area, as the sun was setting. Nothing to write home to Grand Mama, so i just sat and moon bathed on a park bench contemplating life as pesky mosquitos sucked me dry of my globulins. Then some tiny little Spaniard approached me. He was five feet nothing, with the saddest blue eyes i've ever seen. Clearly damaged, but there was a sweetness to him, we chatted briefly, and he looked longingly at me. For some reason i decided to invite him to my Cheese Endique Trifecta flat for a shag. We rode the autobus back to my apartment in spririted chat mode, and once in my lair he commensed to service the doll in a luxurious manner, just what i was in the mood for. I never asked his name, but he belongs to a wrestling club, so surprisingly he had very muscular legs, thighs and buttocks. The guy was only 28, but with his thinning hair, looked around 35. He had one of the tiniest erect penises i have ever seen, it was beyond cashew, and more like a sunflower seed. We talked until the wee hours of the morning. He works as a tour guide for Spanish touristas, and was quite the nice little fellow.

.: posted by Vaginal Davis 2:24 AM