Speaking From the Diaphragm
The Vaginal Davis Blog
. . .From the Counsel of Inter-Continental Balistic Principalities
Saturday, September 20, 2008
PRESQUE RIEN The lure of the negresse is her adeptness at the sexual arts. She represents danger, a sexual passion capable of satiation and consumption, the literal siphoning off of life through the draining of precious seminal liquor. Thats basically what my hot, enormously hung German lover told me recently. Well, not exactly in such poetic terms. His big white Nina Blanchard panties are all in a bunch because his wife and I get along better then i do with him. His spouse is very worldly, and is not troubled in the least by my affair with her husband. They have two small children, and frankly she is only married to him because he gave her pretty babies, and is independently wealthy, so she lives a secure lifestyle. When i first met him i told him i could only be with him if his wife knew about us. He just wanted to carry on behind her back in a traditional melodramatic manner. He is only 28 years old, and i am 400 which makes me too old to be somebodies mistress. So i boldly marched up to his Mrs and told her everything, and without missing a beat, she gave me her blessings. I am only interested in him because of that giant lug between his legs. The man genitals are beyond impressive. His personality is a bit stilted in that stereotypical teutonic fashion. Lately he´s gotten all weirded out by the unconventional nature of the relationships. I keep telling him, "well lets end it then." He doesn´t want to do that either, as he´s now too wrapped up in the Doll, and her race horse arse. I think i have properly assmatized him. With these European men you have to give them a little then pull back. It drives them gnuts. Enough about my love life, i can´t believe i´ve been this revealing. *** A reader from Boston wrote congragulating my scoop on the relationship of movie ingenue Anne Hathaway(The Devil Wears Prada) and her no account playboy embezzler ex-beau Raffaello Fallieri. If you remember, i broke the story of their initial pairing here in this very blog. I also said that Mr. Fallieri was a crook and hornpiglet. I knew this firsthand from my own dealings with him sniffing at my gnarly hole years ago in New York. A few mainstream new sources actually gave me some credit for breaking the story which was nice and certainly unexpected. *** I also predicted this international global financial crises back when i was still living in Los Angeles. My lady intuition is always spot on. I inherited my Daisy Gamble powers from my Louisiana born Creole mother. Are you ready for some more beheading of the prophet? Well i am going to give it to you whether you want to hear it or not. Here goes: The US will plunge even deeper into a depression. Not like the one in the 1930s, this one will be different but equally devastating. The Republicans will win the presidency. McCain will die in office, and Ms. Palin will become the first fremale president. If by chance by prediction is in-correct, and Obama wins. Senator McCain will still kick the proverbial bucket and Mr. Obama will be assassinated six months into office. As the Whoracle of Delphi i only bring misfortune telling.
.: posted by Vaginal Davis 3:38 AM
Friday, September 19, 2008
ÜBERLEBENSSTRATEGIEN IN TROPISCHEN METROPOLEN Went to the opening party of the Performing South Afrika Festival at Hebbel Am Ufer last night. Very festive with all the boisterous Afrikans like bubbly Yoland Zenith Swales aka: Skyyyy. I adore this wo-man, whose fiance is a white Jewish South African banker. Miss Swales is converting to Judaism, but is already a black Jewish princess par exellence. Skyyy is officially the assistant and minister of information to young, energetic artist Athi-Patra Ruga. Mr. Ruga will be creating a little erotic film that will be part of his performative tryptic. HAU´s pretty Mijka Harmsen procured for him the services of blue movie star Marcel Schlutt, who is also one of the stars of Bruce LaBruce´s latest film Otto-Up With Dead People, which will be screened for Halloween at MOMA in New York. Joining in the crisp outdoor frivolities and munching on delicious WAU Cafe ravioli: the baby diaper himself Joel Gibb of the Hidden Cameras, with silver foxx paramour Weiland Speck of the Berlinales Panorama Section, Daniel Hendrickson, the Scandanavian Muslim, it girl Anna Muelter, Miss Stephanie the curator of the Festival, the cute kids of Fightclub, the Hebbel´s jugund theatre group who are working with the South Afrikan art kollective Gugulective, Amazonian beauty Nandipha Mntambo who created the video Ukungenisa that plays in the foyer of HAU Zwei.
.: posted by Vaginal Davis 4:06 AM
Thursday, September 18, 2008
THIS BRUTAL SONIC All my Nuyorican readers please go see Brian Kenny´s first solo art show "Targets & Etchings at the 5+5 Gallery, 111 Front Street at Dumbo in Brooklyn. The exhibit will be on view from Sept 18-Oct 30th. Brian usually collaborates with his hot Russian lover, Slava Mogutin on projects, but this time he is on his own and it should be quite a delight, as Brian isn´t just an overwhelmingly beautiful young man with big suckable feet and large unruly penis, but is quite a youthful art talent and complete sweatheart. Most gay boys with his looks are arrogant and obnoxious, but Brian is softspoken, dear, hyper masculine and uber butch realness without coming across as too affected. *** Miss Skyyyy the bubbly and effervescent assistant to South Afrikan artist Athi-Ruga cooked a glorious din din the other night. The buck wildness continued until the wee hours. Lots of screaming, laughing and hollering plus Anna Muelter of the HAU who is the production coordinator with Athi´s project, baby diaper Joel Gibb of the Hidden Cameras, Catherine Sullivan dancer Assoff Hochman, Alexander the Great and his French cotillion and some fellow South Afrikers who are part of the festival at Hebbel celebrating South Afrikan art and artists. I´m going to the opening party later tonight-yowza!
.: posted by Vaginal Davis 11:49 AM
Monday, September 15, 2008
STRICTLY DICKLY The change of seasons as usual made me sickly the last few days, so i missed a bunch of exciting happenings like Nanna Heidenreich´s birthday blast in Friedrichshain and the going away soiree for Sabina of Neu Kölln. Sabina is the dear sweet lesbian ex-roommate of Kjohnny Blue and she is off to Thailand for a sabbatical. I was also too ill to attend the solo show of Christophe Chemin´s latest drawings at the Rise Gallery in Neu Kölln. Saturday i felt better and took a long bike ride out to Dallum, where i caught glimpse of a bubble butt, thick thighed blondine boy---yummy!!!!! Later in the afternoon i met with Anna Muelter of HAU for drinks at Melitta Sundstrum with the Johannesburg artist Athi-Patra Ruga who will be presenting his tryptic performance piece Whydeboyz on Sept 25 at HAU ZWEI. Mr. Ruga and his delightful companion, the South Afrikan curator Skyye were a joyous hoot as we scared away all the Germans eating al fresco with our loud auslander rambunctiousness. Can´t wait to see this performance which will also feature the beautiful Greek passive boy Alexander the Great singing a Maria Callas aria in baritone. Later in the evening the baby diaper Joel Gibb of the Hidden Cameras came over to the Cheese Endique Trifecta for a visit. Of course Mr. Gibb had spent his latest tour fornicating left and right with a variety of well endowed men. Check out the Hidden Cameras interview in the sex issue of Attitude Magazine, the sad British fag glossy. Joel talked me into returning to Melittas for a night cap. We ran into Ricardo of the popular weenager danceclub Berlin Hilton, who was doing a version of his party with the people who do Proxi at the Schwuz. He invited us to come in, so we did and ran gob smack into Mr. Ruga who is a big Hidden Cameras fan. It all was becoming a little tedius, as Berlin nitelife sometimes can be, so we all decided to flee, and ran into another Hidden Cameras fan who told us gossip about the Melitta Sundstrum Cafes baldheaded owner, whose ex-lover opened up the bar next door, appropriately named Drama for spite. This young gossipeuse also said the owner of Melitta refuses to hire women, preferring his staff to be young hot boys of the well-endowed persuasion. I feel like i am giving you too much information. *** Last night had a sumpteous feast prepared for me by Piero Bonnehomme of the Piero Collezione with his lover Daniel Hendrickson the Scandanavian Muslim. Piero also showered me with lots of swag from his latest season of separates and houseware items. *** Ms. Vaginal Davis can make a mistake! Yes the doll isn´t perfect. It was pointed out to me by fans of this very blog that I misspelled the name of Julien Nitzberg, the writer and filmmaker from Los Angeles. I have gone back to the offending items of a few days ago and made ammends and updated some of the information. Its also been leaked to me that Mr. Nitzberg may have his new film premiered at the Berlinale and wants la diva as his date. I hope that doesnt get me into any trouble with Franka Potente.
.: posted by Vaginal Davis 6:03 AM
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