Speaking From the Diaphragm
The Vaginal Davis Blog
. . .From the Counsel of Inter-Continental Balistic Principalities
Saturday, December 20, 2008
JUDY JUDY JUDY
Hilarious email sent to me from the great Canadian auteur Bruce "judy" LaBruce who was just in Brazil having adventures of the big peniled kind.
enjoy.
Hi Snooty: well first of all, I followed your advice and got down to the
baths in Sao Paulo, and boy am I glad I did! Holy smokes! This really nice
young man named Eder, who looks a bit like a young, much better looking
Liberace, the best friend of Suzy Capo, the director of the Mix festival,
took me to his neighbourhood sauna/brothel, named Fragatas (which apparently
means Windsurfing), and it was the best I've ever been to in the world! When
you pay at the front you get two towels and some flip flops. Walking into
the main room, Gloria Gaynor's Never Can Say Goodbye started to play. There
were numerous tables and chairs and a bar, a dj booth, a small stage with a
drag queen MC, and two muscular strippers. In full view of this room were a
row of individual showers, where all the hustlers lather up and get hard so
you can make your Sophie's choice. And what a choice! All sizes, shapes, and
colours. Some of the johns were getting very creative with their towels,
fashioning all sorts of turbans and togas and gowns with them, which gave it
all a certain jailhouse aspect. So anyway, Eder introduced me to one of his
favourite regulars, a boy on the shorter side of the scale known to have the
largest member in the joint. I saw him in the shower and had to concur. So
he took me up to a private room and fucked the living daylights out of me.
He kissed, he sucked, he got sucked, he fucked, but of course he was
straight. Huge thick cock - like 10"+ - rock hard. Plus sweet-natured as
pie. 17 bucks. It was so spectacular that I had to return the next day, with
Eder. It was even more crowded on Sunday evening (it closes at midnight),
with the johns playing cards and bingo and whatnot. I wasn't as into it at
first because I really felt like an outsider, but then I spotted this super
cute boy with huge jailhouse style tattoos and incredibly handsome with big
deer lashes and a thick head of hair. At first he looked too dangerous, but
when we started to talk to him he was very sweet. He had his daughter's name
tattooed on his arm. He was from Salvador. It was so busy that the rooms
were all booked, but at the eleventh hour Eder got me one and I had another
trip around the world. He charged a little bit more - 25 bucks - but I gave
him 35 because he was the crème de la crème. The little room had it's own
bathroom, wet-naps, sink, and mirrors all over, including the ceiling. It
was very kaleidoscopic. Anyway, just thought I'd share that. You can
reproduce that story if you wish.
.: posted by Vaginal Davis 4:16 AM
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
SPRIT(Z)IGER ABEND
“Seeing him not only as another
so too, am I”
I am anxious to read Edmund White´s new bio of Arthur Rimbaud, Rimbaud: A Double Life of a Rebel. Poor Ms. White was being interviewed the other day on the radio show NPR Berlin and didnt seem like she was all there.
Artist Dean Samashima who has been living in Berlin as long as i have took me and my young protege DeRohan Chabot to dinner at the Austrian kitchen Monday. We all ate the giant delicious shnitzel. It was nice having one-on-one with a girlfriend from Los Angeles. Dean is so cute and cherubic holding a special place in my heart because he reminds me of my first grade crush Richard Takata.
Christmastime in Berlin, and thank god it isnt jammed down your throats here like in the states. Growing up as a Jehovah´s Witness for most of my childhood i don´t have any holiday memories burned into my psyche. Being a JW was excellent prep in taking on my outsider role. Imagine, No birthday celebrations, no Christian adopted pagen holiday rituals to recognize and a Gibraltic resolve in resisting peer group preasure. All this has contributed to creating the perfect freakazoid that you all know and love so tenderly. One of my guilty pleasures has been Christmas carols, and standards like Judy Garlands “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”. I also adore the Christmas films Holiday Inn 1942 starring Fred Astaire and Bing Crosby and its semi 1954 remake White Christmas featuring a calvalcade of Irving Berlin tunes like “God Help the Sister That Comes Between Me and My Man”, “Snow” and “Mandy(There´s a Minister Handy) Bing Crosby also starred in this film, along with an insufferable Danny Kaye mugging and showboating to death plus a catatonic Vera-Ellen and the incredible Rosemary Clooney. Ms. Clooney made few films, but the ones she did were memorable. My favorite is Red Garters-Paramount,1954. She also appeared in Deep in My Heart-MGM,1954 which was a bio pic about composer Sigmund Romberg.
Seen at Rising Stars, Falling Stars Saturday tribute to Buster Keaton: Superstar DJ Acme Singt, young artist DeRohan Chabot, Jonathan Edward Borrell of the Libertines, Baron Hubertus Herring-Frankensdorf. Did the Baron ever marry Princess Charlotte of Monaco, the daughter of Princess Caroline? Flemish nobel Koen Claerhout, with filmmaker Michel Belague, Joel Gibb of the Hidden Cameras with his super hot physical therapist boyfriend Enrico, Benedict Wells the young writer of Becks letzter Sommer, who wants to be a Rising Stars stammgast, sweet and lanky baby faced Slavic studies academic Devin Fore of Princeton University here in Berlin at the American Academy on a fellowship, Tim Blue of Cheap, Dhani Harrison the handsome son of Beatle George Harrison, beefcake Gedeon Burkhard,downtown New York legend and Peter Hujar muse John Heys, Ana Muelter of the Hebbel Theater with Senol Senturk, gorgeous actress Susanne Sachsse, dapper film historian Marc Siegel, Daniel Hendrickson the translator to the stars,uber networky Italian academic and filmmaker Domietta Torlausco of Northwestern University, trying to lobby her film a spot in the Berlinale, bubble butt filmmaker Christian Asbach, a gaggle of Galic beauty pies Romain Duris, Guillaume Canet and Marion Cotillard-the hautest menage in Europe, dorky American singer Jason Mraz with Christophe Decarnin the head designer with Balmain. Berlin hearthrob Ulrich Ziemons, Stefanie Schulte Strathaus with right hand gal Nanna Heidenreich, and that nerdy white guy in the New York band TV on the Radio.
Finally saw a screening of Woody Allen´s new movie Vicky Christina Barcelona featuring Penelope Cruz, Scarlette Johansen, Rebecca Hall and Javier Bardem. Very funny. Went to a dinner party with Ms. Johansen and her husband Ryan Reynolds who has an amazing body and packing quite a piece of man meat between his very sturdy legs. After dinner we were all taken for drinks to the Paris Bar which is a dull Berlin actor hangout.
Bettie Page the pin up girl of the 1950 died at age 85 in Los Angeles. Bettie was one of the inspirations for my Haute Sexy D. persona in my art rock band Pedro Muriel & Esther (PME). Especially with the first PME performance where i lactate and mix the milk with Nestle´s Quick the chocolate flavour not the strawberry.
MGM matinee idol from the 1940s Van Johnson died at age 92. He is probably best known for roles in World War 2 films like A Guy Named Joe and 30 Seconds Over Tokyo Joe and co-starring in musicals opposite the likes of Esther Williams in Easy to Love (1953) June Allyson in Two Girls and a Sailor (1944) boy that title sure sounds dirty, Cyd Charisse in Brigadoon(1954) and Judy Garland In The Good Ole Summertime(1949). Van was a likeable ginger haired, freckle faced boy next door type. His most manly role was in the Caine Mutiny(1954) Most people didn´t know that he was a Hollywood homo known for deflowering child actors Roddy McDowell and Dean Stockwell on the old Metro Culver City lot, and for being buttery buggery boyfriends with male ingenue Tom Drake who also was in Two Girls and a Sailor and who enraged his Meet Me In St. Louis co-star Miss Garland when he refused to f*ck her. Drake was much better looking then Mr. Johnson. Why Tom wouldn´t do Judy one will never know. Even faggot director Vicente Minnelli was able to get it up for Judy. Imagine If he hadn´t there wouldnt be a Liza Minnelli. But Van and Judy never did the lesbian nasty. They were just studio girlfriends and sisters of the clothe. Before Van was with Tom Drake he was swapping chutes with MGM musical comedy director Edward Buzzell, then he took up with contract hoofers Ray McDonald and Richard Quine who later went on to become a director of such films as Bell Book & Candle. Van really made his sexual way around the Metro lot bagging sexy Tommy Rall, tight assed Bobby Van and even uber oversexed stud Bob Fosse, who was married to Joan McCraken at the time. He wound up making a hornific play for Mickey Haggarty when he was working as a chorus boy for Mae Wests` famous man meat review in Las Vegas. The muscle headed Haggarty was a notorious male concubine before he married Jayne Mansfield. Van´s last famous predatorial conquest was a young Dennis Hopper in the early 1950s and Disney star Tommy Kirk(The Shaggy Dog) in the late 50s. Aren´t you glad i am here to give you all these exciting tidbits of tinsel town lore.
MUSS SIE IHRE BABYPLÄNE VERSCHIEBEN?
My Blood of Abrahamic covenent Israeli son Assaf Hochman invited me over for a Jewish hightower dindin at his charming new Mitte flat. We were joined by the baby diaper Joel Gibb of the Hidden Cameras looking stately and handsome in his winter togs. Assaf use to dance with Catherine Sullivan, but is now in a new piece with the Wilhelm Groener Dance Group. The new work will premier in Berlin on January 15 at the Balhaus. Günther Wilhelm and Mariola Gruener are the choreographers behind Wilhelm Groener. Can´t wait to see Assaf on stage. I will take my new protege Acme Singt to the opening. Acme is a dear young boy who i have been tag-team Djing with. Jeffreyland Hilbert of Custom Creative in LA designed a sexy highly visual advert for us that i will have to get Larry Bob to post on this very blog. Wait till you see it. It is divine. Jeffrey is a genius.
At Assaf´s house we were joined by lil Alexander the Great of Macedonia. Alex has a beamer in his apartment so we all adjoined to his nearby pad to watch some art films projected on his giant white walls. A lovely way to spend a cold, rainy Thursday evening in olde Berlin towne.
.: posted by Vaginal Davis 2:18 AM
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